Kira Asatryan ndeye yakasimbiswa hukama murairidzi uye munyori we Regedza Kusurukirwa: Matanho Matatu Akareruka Ekukudziridza Hushamwari Hwepedyo uye Ukama Hwakadzika. Anotaura nesu kuMarriage.com nezvebhuku rake, anoona nezve padyo uye doles mamwe mazano ekuti ugare uchifara.
Marriage.com: Tiudze zvishoma nezvako nebhuku rako Regedza Kusurukirwa: Matanho Matatu Akareruka Ekukudziridza Hushamwari Hwepedyo
Kira Asatryan: Ndiri mudzidzisi wehukama anozivikanwa anoshanda zvakanyanya nevakaroora. Chinangwa changu pakunyora Rega Kusurukirwa kwaive kungopindura mimwe mibvunzo iyo yaigara ichindinetsa muhupenyu hwangu hwemagariro. Sezvinei, ini ndaigara ndichizvibvunza kuti: Sei humwe hukama hwangu hwakanzwa padhuze pane humwe? Nei ndakafamba ndichibva pane kumwe kutaurirana ndichinzwa kusurukirwa, uye kubva kune vamwe kunzwa zvimwe kusurukirwa?
Sezvandakawana kuburikidza nekutsvagisa kwakawanda uye kuzvifungisisa, mhinduro yaive yekuti humwe hukama hwangu hwaive nezvimwe kuva pedyo mavari - uye chinhu chakakosha ichi chakaita kuti hukama hwunzwe zvakanaka. "Kuvhara," sekutsanangura kwandinoita, ndiko kusangana kwekunzwa zvinonzwisiswa (kuburikidza nebasa re "kuziva") uye kukosheswa (kuburikidza nechiito che "kutarisira").
Kuroora.com: Ndeapi maonero ako nezvekusurukirwa muwanano? Chii chinofanira kuitwa nevakaroorana kukunda nyaya iyi?
Kira Asatryan: Kana mumwe wako akasurukirwa muwanano, ndezvekushayikwa kwehukama. Zvinoreva kuti vanhu vaviri vari muwanano havanyatsonzwisisana (havanzwisise 'zvinokosheswa, zvinodiwa, zviroto, kutya, nezvimwewo) kana ivo havasi kuratidza kukwana kwakaringana (sekuratidzwa ne: kufarira mumwe munhu, kuita navo, kuisa mari mukugara kwavo, uye kuratidza rudo nerutsigiro). Nhanho yekutanga, ndingati, kukunda kusurukirwa muwanano kuona kana kushaikwa kwehukama kuri kudivi re "kuziva" kana "kune hanya".
Marriage.com: Ndeapi mazano aungapa vanhu kuti vavake zvinowirirana uye zvakadzama kubatana munzvimbo dzese dzehupenyu hwavo?
Kira Asatryan: Nhanho yekutanga kuvaka kuvaka kunogutsa uye kwakadzika kubatana munzvimbo dzese dzehupenyu kuona kuti ndiani muhupenyu hwako angaite akanaka "wepedyo mudiwa." Kazhinji uyu mukadzi kana murume, asi zvinogona zvakare kuve nhengo yemhuri, shamwari, kana mumwe anogona kuvaka hukama hwepedyo hwakawanda. "Wepedyo wekushamwaridzana" angave munhu anoita kunge anofarira kuswedera padhuze newe, anokwanisa kugovana ruzivo rwemunhu nezvake, anokwanisa kuteerera nekuchengetedza ruzivo nezvewe, uye anonyatsoziva manzwiro ekupa nekutambira .
Marriage.com: Chii chinofanira kuitwa kana mumwe achida kukudziridza kuva padyo asi mumwe achidhonza? Mumwe anoita sei nekukuvadzwa uye kushungurudzika?
Kira Asatryan: Uyu mubvunzo wakanaka!
Paunotanga kuona kuti mumwe munhu arikubva kure newe, iwe unowanzo svika pakunzwa kuvhiringidzika uye kushamisika kuti chii chaizvo chirikuitika. Chinhu chekutanga kuita kusapinda mukuvhunduka modhi. Inogona kukuvadza mamiriro acho nekuda kwezvikonzero zvakawanda. Kutanga, zvinogona kukukonzera kuzvibata nenzira inoita seisina musoro uye nekukuisa iwe muchinzvimbo chekukanganisa zvakanyanya kuhukama pane kunaka. Chechipiri, nekuzvibata nenzira yaunoita, mumwe wako anowana mukana wekuti abvise zvinokunetsa nekukumaka se "'çrazy' '. Tarisa pane chaicho uye unzwisise kuti wadudzira sei zvavakaita.
Ipa munhu iyeye imwe nguva uye gadzirira kugadziriswa kwavo. Mukupedzisira, kana ivo vachiramba vachikudzivirira, zvinokwanisika kuti hukama hwacho hwave kusvika kumagumo. Munguva ino inoshungurudza nguva, tora nyaradzo muzivo yekuti iwe wakabata mamiriro acho zvakanaka kwazvo zvirinani.
Marriage.com: Ndeipi imwe chidimbu chezano iwe yaunogona kupa kune wese munhu kuti agare achifara?
Kira Asatryan: Kana iwe uchinetseka nekusurukirwa kana kunzwa pasi nekushaikwa kwehukama hunogutsa muhupenyu hwako, chinhu chekutanga chandingakurudzira kurega kuzvipa mhosva. Kune zvikonzero zvakawanda zvezvakatipoteredza nei hukama huri kuoma mazuva ano kupfuura zvave zviri munguva yakapfuura (tekinoroji, gadziriro dzekugara, nezvimwewo), nekuzvipa mhosva ("ndinonyara," "ndinofanira kuedza zvakanyanya," nezvimwe. .) zvinongo chengeta iwe munzvimbo isina mufaro. Pane kudaro, tenda kuti uri munhu anokosha akakodzera kudiwa uye kuva padyo, uye kuti kusurukirwa idambudziko kunze kwe iwe unogona kunyatso bviswa. Rega Kusurukirwa ndichakuratidza maitiro ekuita izvi.