Zvemukati
Mamirioni evarume nevakadzi nhasi vachamuka, kumuka pamubhedha, uye voita zvese zvavanogona kuti vasazununguse igwa muhukama hwavo.
Ivo vanogona kunge vachidanana, vakaroora, kana kugara neshamwari yepamwoyo ... Asi pane kumhanya kufanana mune izvi hukama. Ivo vanovimba zvakanyanya, vanotya kurambwa kana kutongwa nevanhu vakanyanya kukosha muhupenyu hwavo.
Asi, chii chinonzi kutsamira mumuchato?
Kuzvimiririra muwanano ndipo apo mumwe wako akaiswa mari muhukama zvekuti havagone kufungidzira hupenyu vasina mumwe wavo. Hazvina mhosva kuti mumwe wavo anovabata sei, ivo vakagadzirira kutsungirira chero chinhu kuti vagare muhukama. Ivo vanofunga kuti vamwe vavo havangakwanise kurarama vasina ivo kana ivo pachavo vangazofa nekuguma kwehukama. Iko rudzi rwekupindwa muropa.
Zvino, kana iwe uri mumwe munhu ari muhukama hwakazvimirira iwe waizobvunza mibvunzo senge iyo hukama hwehukama hunogona kuponeswa kana kuita chero 'kukunda codependency' maitiro kana maitiro aripo. Chinyorwa pazasi chinopindura mibvunzo yese yakadaro.
Kukunda sei codependency muwanano?
Pazasi pane matatu matipi akakosha ekubatsira kupwanya hunhu hwehukama hwerudo neushamwari. Matanho ekukunda codependency-
Wana chaiwo newe
Kukunda codependency muhukama nhanho yekutanga ndeyekuvimbika, pamwe kekutanga muhupenyu hwako, kuti iwe unotya kuzunza chikepe. Kuti iwe unofamba pamusoro pemazai emazai nemudiwa wako kana shamwari dzepedyo. Kuti chako chitarisiko chakaputirwa mukuona kuti munhu wese anokuda, uye hapana asingakufarire.
Izvi zviri pamusoro ingori tsananguro shomanene dzeizwi rekuti codependency.
Muna 1997, ndakapfuura nemakumi mashanu nemashanu masvondo akanangana neshamwari yangu anova zvakare chipangamazano sezvaakandibatsira kupwanya hunhu hwangu hwekuzvimirira. Kusvikira panguva iyoyo, muhukama hwangu hwese hwepedyo, kana zvikauya kwandiri ndichizunza igwa ndaizoita chero chinhu uye zvese zvinogoneka kusatsamwisa mumwe wangu. Izvi zvinogona kureva kunwa zvakanyanya. Kana kutizira kubasa zvakanyanya. Kana kutodanana.
Iwe unoona, sewaimbove mubatsiri-anoenderana, ini ndinoziva zvese zvakanyanya kuti zvinoita sei kana iwe uchida kuti munhu wese akude iwe, akude iwe. Paunenge usingade kurambwa. Kutongwa. Paunovenga kupokana.
Saka nhanho nhamba yekutanga yekukunda codependency ndeyekunyora pasi pabepa nzira dzaunodzivirira kupokana nemudiwa wako neshamwari dzako. Ichi chichava kusimuka-kwevakawanda. Iyo yekutanga poindi yekurapa uye kuwana pamusoro pecodependency.
Usapinda mugakava
Paunenge iwe waona dzese dzakasiyana nzira dzaunodzivirira kupokana, kudzoka kubva kunharo, kana kusatombo pinda mukusawirirana, kunyangwe pavanodaidzirwa, unogona kutanga izvozvi kuita imwe yekunyora yekuita kuti ikubatsire kupora. Kunyora kunogona kuve kukuru mukukunda kutsamira.
Mune ino nhanho, iwe uchazonyora kunze nhaurirano yaungade kuva neyako mudiwa kana shamwari. Uri kuzotaura chishuwo chako, nenzira yakasimba kwazvo, yekuti haudi kuenda kumafaro neMugovera manheru, nekuti haufunge kuti zvakakosha kuenda nekunwa kakawanda sezvawakaita mumwe wako anoda. Izvi zvakakosha kana iwe uchida kukunda kondinendi uye kusawirirana kwemuchato.
Mushure mekunyora chirevo chako, unozonyora rondedzero yekururamisa chikonzero nei uchitenda nenzira yaunotenda nayo. Kuti ukunde codependency iwe unofanirwa kuseta yako yekufunga maitiro nenzira kwayo.
Ichi chiitwa ndechekugadzwa uye kutariswa kuitira kuti kana iwe uine hurukuro iwe mabara ako ese akamira mupfungwa dzako zvauchazotaura kumunhu. Kuti ukunde kutsamira pamwe uye kutyora kuzvimirira muwanano, iwe unofanirwa kuramba wakanangisa.
Vamwe vanhu vanotodzidzira kuverenga nhaurirano iyi pamberi pegirazi. Tarisa mutauro wako. Gara wakasimba. Usadzokera shure. Zvinogona kutora zvakati wandei zvekudzidzira usati wagadzikana kuti uzviite mune chairo nyika. Uye izvo zvakanaka. Iwe unofanirwa kutora aya marwadzo ekukunda kutsamira.
Gadza miganhu
Dzidza maitiro ekuisa miganho neako mudiwa uye kana shamwari nemhedzisiro. Mune mamwe mazwi, iwe haudi kungoita nag. Iwe unoda kunyatso kuve nemhedzisiro yekuti kana vakaenderera nehunhu husina hutano kwauri, kuti iwe unenge uchizonyatso dhonza iyo inokonzeresa, unova mugumisiro. Iyi ndiyo yekupedzisira uye yakakosha zano yekukunda codependency.
Heino muenzaniso wakanaka. Makore akati wandei apfuura vaviri vakaroorana vakatanga kushanda neni nekuti murume aive netsika pamwedzi yekudhakwa, Mugovera wekupedzisira wemwedzi wega wega. Akaona pasina nyaya nazvo. Zvisinei, mudzimai wake akazviona kubva kune imwe nzvimbo.
Zuva rakatevera mushure mekudhakwa, airara zuva rese. Paakamuka, akatsamwira vana uye naye. Kwemazuva akati wandei akatevera, apo airwa neyakaipisisa hangover, aive akatsamwa, asingashiviriri uye asina kunaka.
Mukushanda kwedu pamwe chete, ndakavaita kuti vagadzire chibvumirano. Muchibvumirano ichi, akati kana akanwa chero nguva pamazuva makumi mapfumbamwe anotevera, kuti anofanirwa kubva pamba, atsvage imwe furati kana imba yekuroja kwemazuva makumi mapfumbamwe emakore.
Sezvaunogona kutaura, izvi ndizvo zvaive mugumisiro. Kwemakore makumi maviri nemashanu anga achimuudza kuti kana akamwa imwezve nguva, anomuramba. Kana akamwa imwe nguva, aisazotora vana vapedza chikoro uye raizove rake basa kutora nguva kubasa kuti achengete vana. Asi haana kumboburitsa chero mhedzisiro.
Nechibvumirano chiri muruoko, akatyora rutivi rwake rwechibvumirano. Mangwana acho? Akaenda kune imwe imba. Mazuva makumi mapfumbamwe gare gare akadzoka, uye kwemakore mana apfuura, anga asina kana donhwe rimwe redoro.
Kuti udzidze kukunda kwehukama muhukama kuve wakasimba nemipendero, zvinosungirwa.
Tora nguva yako kudzidza maitiro ekuva munhu akasimba, akazvimirira munhu uye kukunda codependency. Dzidzira matanho ari pamusoro. Ini ndinokuvimbisa iwe, sewaimbove mushandirapamwe, hupenyu huchave hune dombo pakutanga, asi iwe unozotangazve kuzvidzora uye kuzviremekedza kwako uye kuvimba kwako kuchapfuura nepadenga. Izvo zvakakodzera zvachose kuedza. Iwe unogona kutokwanisa kushandura muchato unoenderana kuti uve wakanaka. Kana zvisina kudaro, iwe zvirinani kuti uzive kupedzisa roorano inoenderana uye kutyora tsika.