Zvemukati
- Zvakavanzika kumuchato wechipiri unobudirira
- Semuenzaniso: Nyaya yekudzidza yaEva naConner
- Ita chitsidzo chekushandisa nguva nemumwe wako
- Tsika dzekubatanidzazve muhukama hwako
- 1. Tsika yezuva nezuva yekusanganazve
- 2. Idyai pamwe chete musina screen nguva
- Ridza mimhanzi yako yaunofarira kuti unakirwe nekukwirana nekutamba
- 4. Gamuchira tsika dzinotevera dzezuva nezuva
- Ndiwe wega unoita sarudzo pano!
Kune zvakawanda zvekunyepedzera pamusoro pekupinda uye kuchengetedza roorano inobudirira nemumwe munhu anga akasunga pfumo pamberi sekutenda kuti mumwe wako achakwanisa kudzivirira misungo senge kushushikana kwezvemari uye nekusiya mukwende kubva kumuchato wavo wekutanga.
Mushure mezvose, vanofanira kunge vakadzidza kubva kumuchato wavo wekutanga uye kurambana.
Sekureva kwevanyori, Hetheringston, Ph.D, E. Mavis, naJohn Kelly, mubhuku ravo rakanzi 'For Better Or For Worse: Divorce Considered,' vakataura kuti kunyangwe 75% yevanhu vakarambana vachazoroora zvakare, yakawanda yemichato iyi. zvinokundikana nekuda kwematambudziko anosangana nevakaroora zvakare. Aya matambudziko anomuka panguva iyo ivo vari kuyedza kuvaka hukama vachiri kugadzirisa, nekubatanidza, mhuri dziripo uye nhoroondo dzakaoma dzehukama.
Vashoma vakaroorana vanonzwisisa pakutanga kuti zvakaoma sei uye zvinoda kuroorazve.
Kana vanhu vakaroorana vatanga kuroorazve, iko kukanganisa kunowanzoitika kwavanoita kutarisira kuti zvese zvinowira munzvimbo uye zvinomhanyisa otomatiki.
Rudo runogona kutapira rwechipiri kana rwechitatu nguva yakatenderedza, asi kana mufaro wehukama hutsva hwapera, chokwadi chekujoinha nyika mbiri dzakasiyana chinopinda.
Zvakavanzika kumuchato wechipiri unobudirira
Maitiro akasiyana uye masitayera ekurera, nyaya dzemari, nyaya dzepamutemo, hukama nevakamboroora kana kuroorwa, vana pamwe nevabereki vekurera, vanogona kutsausa kuswedera kwehukama hwevaviri vakaroora zvakare.
Kana usati waumba kubatana kwakasimba uye uchishaya maturusi ekugadzirisa kuparara kwezuva nezuva mukutaurirana, unogona kupedzisira wave kupomerana mhosva pane kutsigirana.
Semuenzaniso: Nyaya yekudzidza yaEva naConner
Eva, 45, mukoti uye amai vevanasikana vaviri vezera rekuchikoro uye vaviri vakaroora, vakandidaidza musangano wekupanana mazano nekuti aive kumagumo kwetambo yake.
Akaroora Conner, 46, aive nevana vaviri kubva kumuchato wake makore gumi apfuura, uye vane vanasikana vaviri vatanhatu nevasere kubva muwanano yavo.
Eva akazviisa seizvi, “Ini ndaisatombofunga kuti imba yedu inganetse nemari. Conner aripa mwana rubatsiro rwevakomana vake uye achidzoka kubva pachikwereti mukadzi wake waakakundikana. Alex, dangwe rake, ari kuenda kukoreji munguva pfupi iri kutevera uye gotwe rake, Jack, ari kuenda kukamba inodhura zhizha rino riri kupedza mari kubhengi redu. ”
Anoenderera mberi, “Tine vana vedu vaviri uye hapana mari yakakwana yekufamba. Isu tinopokana nezve edu masitayera evabereki nekuti ini ndiri wakanyanya weanogadza setter uye Conner ari pushover. Chero chipi chinodiwa nevakomana vake, vanochiwana, uye anongoita seangaramba izvo zvavanoda. ”
Pandinobvunza Conner kuti ayese pane zvakaonekwa naEva, anoti anoona tsanga yechokwadi kwavari asi kuti Eva anowedzeredza nekuti haana kumboswedera pedyo nevakomana vake uye anovatsamwira.
Conner inoratidza, “Eva aiziva kuti ndaive nematambudziko emari muwanano yangu yekutanga apo murume wangu wekare paakatora chikwereti, asina kana kumbobhadhara, ndokuzorega basa panguva yekurambana kwedu kuti awane imwe mari yekuriritira vana. Ini ndinoda vana vangu vese uye vakomana vangu, Alex naJack, havafanirwe kutambura nekuti ndakarambana naamai vavo. Ndine basa rakanaka uye kana Eva aipedza nguva yakawanda navo, aizoona kuti vana vakanaka. ”
Kunyangwe Eva naConner vane nyaya zhinji dzekushandira kuburikidza sevakaroora zvakare, ivo vanofanirwa kutanga vafunga kuti vanofarira kutsigirana uye kuda kuve hwaro hwemhuri yavo.
Kuzvipira kuvimba uye kukoshesa mumwe wako kunogona kusimbisa imba yako yechipiri.
Kudyidzana kwako kunofanirwa kuve kwakasimba uye kwakavakirwa pafungidziro yekuti munosarudzana zuva rega rega uye makazvipira kuita nguva pamwe chete pekutanga nekuchikoshesa.
Ita chitsidzo chekushandisa nguva nemumwe wako
Ndichiri kubvunzana nevakawanda vevakaroora nezvebhuku rangu rinouya "Bhuku Rokuroorazve anowanzo kutsvairwa pasi pemboro uye inoda kukurukurwa kudzivirira kurambana kune vakaroorazve.
Hazvina mhosva kuti hupenyu hwako hwakabatikana uye wakabatikana sei, usamborega kuva nehanya nezve mumwe nemumwe uye kuchengetedza rudo rwako.
Itai kuti nguva pamwe chete ive pekutanga - kuseka, kugovana, kutandara, uye kukoshesana.
Sarudza imwe yetsika dzezuva nezuva pazasi uye uzviite muchirongwa chako zuva rega rega! Kufungisisa, maitiro ekuita kuti muchato ushande? Zvakanaka! Iyi ndiyo mhinduro yako.
Tsika dzekubatanidzazve muhukama hwako
Inotevera tsika ina dzinozokubatsira iwe nemumwe wako kugara muchibatana.
1. Tsika yezuva nezuva yekusanganazve
Iyi tsika inogona kuve imwe yeakanyanya kukosha iwe aunosimudza semurume nemukadzi.
Iyo inonyanya kukosha nguva yemuchato wako inguva yekusanganazve kana mamazisiro amunoita zuva nezuva.
Ive neshuwa yekugara uine tariro, dzivisa kushoropodzwa, uye teerera kune mumwe wako. Zvinogona kutora chinguva kuti uone chero shanduko mumanzwiro ako epedyo, asi tsika iyi inogona kukurudzira zvikuru imba yako nekufamba kwenguva.
Vhura mitsara yekutaurirana nekusimbisa maonero ake, kunyangwe iwe usingabvumirani.
2. Idyai pamwe chete musina screen nguva
Zvinogona kusakwanisika kuita izvi mazuva ese asi kana ukaedza kudya pamwe chete mazuva mazhinji, uchaona uri kudya pamwe kazhinji.
Dzima TV nenharembozha (pasina mameseji) uye gadzirira mumwe wako. Uyu unofanirwa kuve mukana wekukurukura zvinhu zviri kuitika muhupenyu hwako uye kukuratidza kuti unonzwisisa nekutaura chimwe chinhu chakadai, "Zvinoita sekunge wave nezuva rinoshungurudza, ndiudze zvimwe."
Ridza mimhanzi yako yaunofarira kuti unakirwe nekukwirana nekutamba
Isa mimhanzi yako yaunofarira, nakidzwa negirazi rewaini kana chinwiwa, uye tamba uye / kana teerera kumimhanzi pamwe chete.
Kuita kuti imba yako ive chinhu chekutanga hachiuye nguva dzose asi zvinozobhadhara nekufamba kwenguva nekuti unozonzwa uine hukama pamwe nemuviri.
4. Gamuchira tsika dzinotevera dzezuva nezuva
Tora 2 yeaya mapfupi asi anogutsa ezuva nezuva tsika dzinotora maminetsi makumi matatu kana zvishoma -
- Pfupikisa zuva rako iwe paunosvika kumba iwe uchigumbatira kana kugara padhuze.
- Shamba kana kugeza pamwechete.
- Idya tudyo uye / kana dhizeti inodiwa pamwechete.
- Famba uchitenderedza bhuroka kanoverengeka uye ubate nezve rako zuva.
Ndiwe wega unoita sarudzo pano!
Izvo zvaunoitira iwe tsika yako zviri kwauri iwe, hongu. Mune 'Misimboti minomwe Inoita kuti Imba Ibudirire,' John Gottman anokurudzira tsika yekushandisa ingangoita maminetsi gumi nemashanu kusvika makumi maviri pazuva uine hurukuro yekudzora kusagadzikana nemumwe wako..
Sezvineiwo, iyi hurukuro inoda kutarisa pane chero chiri mupfungwa dzako kunze kwehukama hwako. Ino haisi nguva yekukurukura kusawirirana pakati penyu.
Iwo mukana wegoridhe wekuratidza kunzwira tsitsi uye kutsigirana mumwe nemumwe nemanzwiro zvine chekuita nedzimwe nzvimbo dzehupenyu hwako. Chinangwa chako hachisi chekugadzirisa dambudziko rake asi kutora divi remumwe wako, kunyangwe maonero avo achiratidzika seasina musoro.
Nzira yakanakisa yekuita izvi ndeyekuterera nekusimbisa pfungwa nemanzwiro emumwe wako uye nekutaura maitiro e "isu anopesana nevamwe". Nekudaro, iwe uri munzira yako yekuwana kuroora kwakabudirira uko kuchamira muyedzo wenguva.