Zvemukati
- 1. Wakazvimiririra
- 2. Iwe unoshuva kuva nehukama hwerudo muhupenyu hwako
- 3. Hauitwe godo nyore
- 4. Haingori kunze kwekufinhwa
- 5. Iwe wakanaka nekugovana
- 6. Mamiriro ezvinhu hazvina basa kwauri
- 7. Unoda zvinonetsa muhukama
- 8. Une dambudziko rekuita
- 9. Iwe unonzwa kubatwa muhukama hwehukama hwehukama
- 10. Unokoshesa network huru yekutsigira
Vazhinji vedu takakura tichiona zvimiriri zve hukama hwehukama nemumwe zvakatikomberedza.
Mhuri dzedu, matunhu edu, magazini atakaverenga uye zvirongwa zvepa terevhizheni zvatakatarisa zvese zvakatiratidza kuti hukama hwerudo hwakavakirwa pakuvimbika nekuzvipira pakati pevanhu vaviri.
Iyo muchato mumwe chete ndiyo chete imba yemuchato. Saka chii chinonzi hukama hwehukama?
Mumashoko akareruka, hukama hwakadai, kana muchato mumwe chete, ndipo panowanikwa vaviri vaviri panyama uye nemweya pamwe chete. Iko hakuna nzvimbo yekubiridzira. Vaviri vaviri vakaroorana vakapika kusimudzira tsika dzewanano dzemuchato uye kuva vechokwadi kune mumwe nemumwe.
Kana mumwe wavo akatsauka akarara nemumwe munhu, hukama hwainge hwapera, kana zvirinani, kuvimba kwakaputsika, uye hukama hwanga husina kumbofanana.
Nepo kuroora mukadzi mumwe kungave kuri kwakajairwa munzvimbo zhinji, kune kufarira kuri kutenderera pasirese mu polyamory iyo inosanganisira hukama hwakavhurika padanho repamoyo kana rerudo nevanhu vanopfuura mumwe chete panguva.
Hukama hwehukama hunogona kuumbwa nevanhu vehukama hwakafanana kana hwakasiyana hunosanganisira vanoita bonde, ngochani, ngochani, kana vanoita bonde.
Kwemakore, iyo pfungwa ye polyamory yave kugamuchirwa zvakanyanya nekuzivikanwa kwayo kuchionekwa kunyangwe mupop tsika uye nhau. Tora iyi CBSN zvinyorwa semuenzaniso:
Polyamorous parenting iri kuwedzerawo nekodzero dzepamutemo dzevakaroora vakadaro dzichisimudzirwa mudare redzimhosva munzvimbo dzakasiyana siyana. Tsvagurudzo dzakasiyana dzekutsvagisa dziri kuratidzawo kusimuka muchirongwa ichi, imwe yakaitiswa muna2017 ichiti kubva pavanhu zviuru zvisere nemazana manomwe vasina murume muUS vanopfuura mumwe chete muvashanu vakaita polyamory imwe nguva muhupenyu hwavo.
Mukupesana, ongororo ya2014 yakanga yataura chete 4% -5% yevaAmerican vachitaura kuti vaive polyamorous.
Zvakadaro, iwe une vatsigiri uye naysayers kudivi rega rega vanotenda kuti nzira yavo iri nani. Ngatimboongororai nharo idzi kuti tinzwisise zvirinani kana imwe kana imwe yacho yakakunakira iwe.
Monogamy vs polyamory: Nharo
Heano makakatanwa nevanhu vazhinji vane hukama hwehukama hwehukama.
- Vanhu vakafanirwa kuve nemurume mumwe chete here? Ehe. Zvave zvakadaro nenzira muhuwandu hwetsika.
- Kuroora mukadzi mumwe chete inzira yekuona kuti vana vanokwanisa kukura mumhuri yakatsiga umo vanonzwa vakachengeteka uye vakachengeteka murudo rwunopihwa neimwe seti yevabereki.
- Rudzi urwu rwehukama runobvumira vese vaviri vaviri kuti gadzira chisungo chakasimba chekuvimba nekutaurirana.
- Chii chinoreva hukama hwemurume mumwechete kune vakaroorana? Ivo vimba mumwe nemumwe munguva dzakanaka nedzakaipa. Monogamy inopa akavimbika uye akavimbika mudiwa. Vamwe vanofunga kuti polyamory haiuyi neiyo nhanho yekutsigirwa.
- Kuroora mukadzi mumwe chete kunoderedza njodzi yevari vaviri vanobata chero chirwere chepabonde sezvo vachingovata pamwe chete.
Saka murume mumwe chete anoitika here?
- Kana vakabvunzwa uyu mubvunzo, vamwe vanoti hukama hwehukama hwehukama mumwe chete hwusiri takavakwa kuratidza rudo nenzira dzakasiyana nevanhu vakasiyana.
Vanoti munhu mumwe chete haakwanise kuzadzisa zvese zvatinoda, saka pfungwa yekuroora mukadzi mumwe ndeyechinyakare.
- Vamwe vanotsigira polyamory vanoti chitsva chakajairika kuve ne kuvhura hukama. "Ndiyo mamiriro ezvinhu evanhu."
- Vanenge makumi maviri muzana muzana vevakuru vasina kuroorwa vekuUS vakaita mutemo wekubvumirana polyamory kanokwana kamwe muhupenyu hwavo, seichi chidzidzo che2016 chakaburitswa muRondedzero Yezvepabonde & Marital Therapy.
- Nyanzvi yePolyamory uye muratidziri Elisabeth Sheff anotsanangura zvinotevera zvikonzero zvinoita kuti vanhu vati vanofarira polyamory:
- Inosangana nezvimwe zvinodikanwa
- Inopa kugona kwerumwe rudo
- Inopa zvakasiyana pabonde
- Izvo zvinogadzira mukana wekuve nemhuri yakakura ine rudo rwakawanda kutenderera
Mubhuku rake Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners, chiremba wezvepfungwa wekuAmerica Deborah Anapol akataura kuti zvinogutsawo chishuwo che polys cherusununguko uye kupandukira.
Tichitarisa mativi ese, zvinogona kuve zvakaoma kusarudza, uye iwe unogona kunge uchinetseka kana iwe uri mumwe munhu angave anofara muhukama hwehukama husingabvumirwe.
Unogona kunge uchitsvaga humwe hunhu kana zviratidzo zvinogona kuzviisa pachena kwauri kuitira kuti iwe ugone kusarudza kuve nemukadzi mumwe kana barika.
Zvakanaka, ikozvino unogona pakupedzisira kusarudza nekutsvaga anotevera zviratidzo gumi hukama hwemurume mumwe chete hausi hwako:
1. Wakazvimiririra
Kana pamusoro pemakore, usiri kuwana kugadzikana nepfungwa yekurarama hupenyu hwako nemumwe wako uye kuva nevana munguva yakafanira zvino chiratidzo chekuti iwe haungasarudze hukama hwehukama.
Kurarama hupenyu husingabvumirane mukadzi mumwe chete kungasave kwechokwadi kana uine vana vadiki. Dzimwe nyanzvi dzinoti vana vadiki pachivanhu vanofamba zvirinani nedzimba dzemubereki mumwe kana vabereki vaviri.
Zvakanaka, kana vana vako vachikwanisa kuzvichengeta, ipapo hupenyu husina-monogamous hunogona kuitika. Panguva imwecheteyo, hukama hwehukama hunoreva kuti panogona kugara paine munhu pamba anotarisira mwana mukushayikwa kwevamwe vadiwa.
2. Iwe unoshuva kuva nehukama hwerudo muhupenyu hwako
Kana iwe ukawana ichi chinogutsa, pamusoro, uye pamusoro pebonde dzakasiyana siyana setup iyi inopa, saka iwe unogona kuve wired kune isiri-inobvumirana kuroora mukadzi mumwe.
Iwe une zvakawanda zvekupa, uye kugara muhukama hwemurume mumwe chete hazviite zvido zvako.
Iwe unoona kuti kuve nevakabatana vakawanda kunokubatsira iwe kukura zvakanyanya, sezvo mumwe nemumwe achipa chimwe chinhu chakasarudzika chausingawani nemumwe munhu. Rudo rwako ndirwo runofumisa izvi.
3. Hauitwe godo nyore
Kana iwe uchizviona iwe semumwe munhu aisazoita godo rekugovana nemumwe wako pamoyo uye pabonde nevamwe vanhu, iwe unogona kunakirwa polyamory.
Polyamorous vanhu havawanzo vanhu vane godo; hunhu hunhu husipo muhunhu hwavo.
Izvi zvinovatendera ivo nevavanodanana navo kunakidzwa nekubatana pabonde uye nemanzwiro nekubatana nevamwe vanhu pasina chero kunzwa kwekugara kana kutyisidzira kuti vanogona kutsiviwa nemumwe "ari nani" mumwe.
Heino inonakidza vhidhiyo ye polyamorous uye monogamous vanhu vachitaura nezve kwavo kutora pahukama hwakadai uye iro basa regodo mairi:
4. Haingori kunze kwekufinhwa
Iwe unozviziva iwe zvakakwana kuti uzive mutsauko uripakati pekufinhwa nemumwe wako waunodanana naye, uye iko kwechokwadi kwekuda kurarama hukama hwakavhurika. Zvakajairika muwanano yemurume mumwe kuti muve nenhambo dzekufinhwa mumba yekurara.
Apa ndipo apo matoyi ebonde, erotica, uye mitambo yepabonde inogona kushandiswa kunongedza zvinhu asi iwe uchida chimwe chinhuzve.
Iwe unogona kunge uchifunga kuvhura yako ikozvino-monogamous muchato kana hukama kune polyamory.
5. Iwe wakanaka nekugovana
Consensual isiri-yemurume mumwe zvinoreva kuti unofarira kugovana. Avo vari muhukama hwehukama mumwe chete havafanirwe kufunga nezvekugovana mumwe wavo.
Pfungwa yekugovana vamwe vako, moyo wako, nguva yako, mubhedha wako, nzvimbo yako wega, uye kuziva kuti vamwe vako vari kuita zvakafanana hazvikukanganisa. Iwe wakanaka nezvose izvozvo.
6. Mamiriro ezvinhu hazvina basa kwauri
Haumbozama kukwana muchinhu chero chipi zvacho. Wayedza kutyora mutemo wega wega wakagadzwa nesosaiti uye haufunge kuti hukama hunofanirwa kuenderana nemamwe ma parameter. Pfungwa chete yeiyo inonzwa kudzipwa.
7. Unoda zvinonetsa muhukama
Kana hukama husingakandiri matambudziko pamberi pako, haukufadze zvachose. Kubata nekukwira nekudzika kwemanzwiro evakasiyana vanhu hazvireve kunge rakaoma basa kwauri.
8. Une dambudziko rekuita
Pfungwa yekuva nemunhu mumwe chete kweupenyu hwako hwese inokutyisa.Hazvirevi kuti haudi hukama hwenguva refu asi kugovana hupenyu hwako nemunhu mumwe chete kana kutora sarudzo hombe navo hazvinzwika kugadzikana.
9. Iwe unonzwa kubatwa muhukama hwehukama hwehukama
Wakave uripo uye ukaita izvo asi chimwe chinhu chinonzwa kusanzwisisika. Izvo hazvisi zvekuti iwe unozvipira phobic asi iwo hukama hwehukama hwehukama hunogara huchipera newe uchikumbira zvimwe. Iwe unoda kugadzikana asi kuti munhu mumwe chete haamboita kunge anokwezva kumativi akasiyana ako. Kana iwe wanga uri mune tambo yehukama hwehukama hwehukama uchinzwa kusazadziswa nenzira iyi, zvinogona kuve chiratidzo chekuti pamwe iyo haisi iyo nzira yako zvachose.
10. Unokoshesa network huru yekutsigira
Kana iwe uri munhu asingafarire kungovimba nemunhu wauri kudanana naye, pamwe hukama hwemurume mumwe chete hahusi hwako.
Muhukama hwehukama, unogona kunakidzwa nerutsigiro rweanopfuura munhu mumwe. Iwe unogona kuve neakasimba rutsigiro network, ingave yepanyama kana yepamoyo rutsigiro.
Semuenzaniso, unogona kuva nemumwe munhu kuti akubatsire nehutano hwako hwehutano. Zvakare, iwe unogona kuve nemumwe munhu kuti azviriritire zvako zvemanzwiro zvaunoda kana iwe uchinge wakabatiswa pasi nebasa rekumanikidza.
Zvino zvawave nekutarisa kumusoro gumi zviratidzo kuti uzive zvakawanda nezve yemumwe murume uye polyamorous mararamiro, iwe unofanirwa kuzvibvunza iwe wakakosha mubvunzo:
Une chokwadi here kuti haudi wega polyamory?
Usati waita zvachose pfungwa dzako nezvekusatemwa kuita monogamy, zvibvunze izvi: izvi ndezvewe chete, kana iwe uri kufarawo nezvekufungidzira mumwe wako akarara nevamwe vanhu?
Nekuti kana iwe uri kufunga nezve polyamory asi zvako chete, izvo hazvisi zvechokwadi polyamory. Izvo zviri kungokumbira mumwe wako mvumo yekubuda kunze kwehukama hwehukama nekuti iwe unoshuva zvakasiyana zvepabonde.
Ndiwo mamiriro akasiyana zvachose.
Rega mwoyo wako utungamirire
Iko kune zvakanakira pamwe nekudzikisira kune ese maviri monogamous uye polyamorous hukama.
Zvisinei nesarudzo yaunosarudza, kungave kuri kufunga kuti murume mumwe chete kana polyamory - pane chinhu chimwe chete chaunofanirwa kuve nechokwadi nezvacho. Aya mararamire kana nzira yehukama iyo iwe yawakasarudza inofanirwa kubva kunzvimbo yerudo kuitira kuti iwe nemumwe wako kana vamwe vako musimbise hukama hwakanaka.