Ndedzipi Ndidzo Mhando dzeKukwezva uye Dzinotibata Sei?

Munyori: John Stephens
Zuva Rekusika: 22 Ndira 2021
Gadziridza Zuva: 2 Chikunguru 2024
Anonim
Ndedzipi Ndidzo Mhando dzeKukwezva uye Dzinotibata Sei? - Psychology
Ndedzipi Ndidzo Mhando dzeKukwezva uye Dzinotibata Sei? - Psychology

Zvemukati

Vazhinji vorudo vanovavarira hukama ihwohwo hwakanaka apo mumwe wacho anosangana nekabhokisi kadiki pane chinyorwa chekufungidzira kugutsa nhanho dzakasiyana nemhando dzekukwezva. Munyika yakakwana, izvo zvinogona kungoitika.

Asi nyika haina kuitirwa kuti ive yakakwana, uye kudyidzana kunofanirwa kunge kuchinetsa, kunyangwe idzo dzinosangana nezvakawanda zverondedzero. Kana tichizove vakatendeseka, hapana munhu anoda zvechokwadi kukwana.

Haisi yechokwadi uye hapana chinonakidza. Kukwezva ndechimwe chinhu chisingawanzo kurongwa, uye hachiteveri chero rondedzero. Izvo zvinowanzoitika kana vazhinji vedu tisingatombozvitarisira uye mumamiriro akasiyana.

Kukwezva kune mumwe munhu kunogona kukonzera hukama hwakasiyana zvakasiyana kubva pane zvaunogona kufungidzira zvaizoguma zvaitika.

Vamwe vanozoita vekudyidzana, vamwe vangazoguma nehukama hwepedyo, uye vamwe vanogona kuramba vari kungozivana vanodarika nzira yako, newe uchitarisa uchidawo nguva nenguva. Chii chinoita kuti ukwezve kune mumwe munhu - ngatidzidzei pamwe chete.


Kutsanangura kukwezva

Kukwezva chinhu chisinganzwisisike musanganiswa wega wega pamwe wepfungwa, zvipenyu pfungwa kubva padanho repamutemo. Iko hakuna nguva dzose tsananguro kana kutsanangura chikonzero chekuti nei mumwe munhu achinzwa kukweverwa kune mumwe kana chikonzero nei mumwe munhu achinetseka kutsausa pfungwa dzake kubva kune mumwe munhu wavanogona kunge vachangobva kusangana naye.

Zvese ndezve kuzviisa pasi chete, pasina vanhu vaviri vane pfungwa imwechete nezve izvo zvinoita kuti mumwe munhu akwezve uye iwo hunhu husingaite.

Simba rinopfuura simba redu kana paine kusanzwisisika kukura kwechishuwo, senge, kana kufarira. Chinhu chega chatinogona kuita kuitevera kuti tione kwazvinotisvitsa.

Ndeipi psychology yekukwezva?

Kana tichiedza kuona kuti sei tichikwezvwa neumwe munhu kana izvo zvinomutsa kufarira kana chiyero che "fanika" kune mumwe munhu, zvakakosha kuti unzwisise izvo zvinhu zvinokanganisa maitiro; chii chinoita kuti tikweedzwe kune vamwe vanhu.

Iyo psychology yekukwezva inoongorora izvo zvikonzero zvekukwezva kwedu kune chaivo vanhu panzvimbo pevamwe. Kune zvakawanda zvinhu zvekukwezva, zvinosanganisira kukwezva kwemuviri, kuva nezvakafanana, uye kuve padyo.


Kazhinji, kukwezva kwerudo kunotanga nekuda kwekutsvaga mumwe munhu anoratidzika. Pakukumbira mumwe munhu kuti atange kufambidzana, vanhu vanowanzo kukwezvwa nevakaroora vavanoona vachikwezva panyama.

Zvinoenderana nekufungidzira kunoenderana, vanhu vazhinji vanosarudza vavanoshamwaridzana navo vavanotenda mukuenzanisa mwero wehunhu hwavo sezvo iwo maonero anoita chinzvimbo mukutsvaga mudiwa "muhurongwa humwe" saivo.

Hushamwari hungangodaro hunowedzera zvichibva nenzvimbo nekuti vanhu vanova padhuze nevavanowona vachidzokorora. Chimwe chinhu chinopa kukwezva fanano senge rudzi, zera, chinzvimbo chevanhu, chitendero, dzidzo, uye hunhu.

Izvo hazvisi zvehukama hwepamoyo chete asiwo hushamwari hutsva.

Nekudaro, pane zano rekuti zvinopesana zvinokwezva muhukama uhwu uye hushamwari. Izvo dzimwe nguva zvinoitika kazhinji kazhinji kupfuura avo vane hunhu hwakafanana sezvo kubatana kwakapesana kunogona kuratidza kunakidza.


Zvimwe zvinhu zvakawanda zvinogona kutamba chikamu, asi, zvakare, zvakasiyana kubva kumunhu kumunhu.

7 Mhando dzekukwezva dzakatsanangurwa

Kazhinji, kana vanhu vachikurukura nezvekukwezva, chinhu chekutanga chinouya mupfungwa kuda kana kuita bonde. Vashoma vanhu vanoziva kune akawanda mhando dzakasiyana dzekukwezva, vamwe vasina chekuita nezverudo.

Dzimwe nguva iwe unogona kukweverwa kune mumwe munhu charisma asi usina hanya navo pabonde.

Kuwana mumwe munhu anokwezva hakufanirwe kureva chero chinhu kunze kwekushamwaridzana kana kunyangwe kungozivana nemunhu, kungoyambuka nzira yako kamwe chete kwekusangana pfupi.

Mhando shoma dzekukwezva dzinosanganisira:

1. Kukwezva kwekuyevedza

Kuwana mumwe munhu anokwezva zvinoreva kuti munhu wacho anotaridzika zvakanakisa senge pane ane mukurumbira. Vamwe vanhu vanogona kuvhiringidza izvi nekukwezva kwomuviri.

Asi vanhu vanoona mumwe munhu ari muchikamu ichi havafanirwe kuve nechido chekusvika kumunhu panyama kana pabonde, nekuda kwechinhu ichocho.

Munhu wacho mumwe munhu waunoyemura chitarisiko chake. Unovaona vachifadza kutaridzika sezvaungaita chinhu chechinhu. Izvo hazvireve kuti hakugone kuve nekukweva kwepanyama kana kwepabonde pamwe chete, asi izvo hazvisi mhedziso.

2. Kukwezva kwepamoyo

Unogona kunzwa kushamwaridzana nevanhu vazhinji, vangave shamwari, mhuri, kana chimwe chakakosha. Ava ndivo vanhu vaunoda kuve navo pamoyo, zvichireva kuti iwe unogovana zvaunofunga uye manzwiro pamatanho ese.

Iyo nhanho yekukwezva yakakosha mune chero hukama hwakanaka hukama hwaunofanirwa kuve nahwo hwakawanda uchibvumira rakasimba rutsigiro boka. Kuona kukwezva kwepamoyo kunochengeta chimwe nechimwe cheizvi kubatana, zvisinei nerudo kana neimwe nzira, yakavhurika, yakatendeseka, uye ndeyechokwadi.

3. Kukwezva pabonde

Kukwezva kwebonde ndiko kunofungwa nevanhu vazhinji kana izwi rekuti kukwezva rakwira. Zvakafanana nekuona mumwe munhu achiyambuka mukamuri rakazara kana kumhanyira kune mumwe munhu pachena uye achikwezva kwavari pabonde.

Zvinogona kuve kunzwa kwaunowana nemumwe wako uye waunoziva kuti unoda kuroora naye. Hazvina kungogumira kune vanhu ava, zvakadaro. Zvinogoneka nechero munhu ane dhiri rekuita bonde kana kubata mumwe munhu pabonde.

Chii chinoita kuti ukwezve pabonde kune mumwe munhu chinosiyana pamunhu wega wega. Inogona kuwedzera kana kutsauka kana kuchinja zvachose kubva pane zvayaimbove, zvichienderana nemamiriro ezvinhu.

4. Kukwezva panyama

Kukwezva kwemuviri kana kukwezva kwenyama chishuwo chekuzvikomberedza nevanhu vanoda, vanoremekedza, uye vanogadzirisa zvaunoda. Kunyange izvi zviri kazhinji mukudyidzana kudanana, hazvisi izvo nguva dzose.

Vamwe vanhu vatinobata munzira dzakawanda dzisiri dzebonde kana kuitirwa kudanana, kusanganisira vana vedu, shamwari, kana nhengo dzemhuri dzepedyo.

Ivo avo anonhuwirira / asexual vanokudziridza kukwezva sezvo ivo vachifarira kubata. Zvakadaro, ivo vanhu vacho havawanzo kusangana nehumwe hunhu hunotarisirwa nevevanhu seyakafungidzirwa yakajairwa, ichigadzira nyonganiso kune vamwe vanhu.

Chinhu chakakomba, sekugara kuchingoitika, ndeyekutaurirana kusimbisa mvumo yemumwe munhu pamberi pekusangana panyama kuti uone manzwiro usati waita mhedziso yako nekuita kuti kusangana kwacho kusanzwisisike.

5. Kukwezva kwepfungwa

Kana uchitaurirana nevamwe padanho iri, iwe unowana zvimwe zve "cerebral" kana, pamwe, kubatana kwepfungwa kunoyevedza. Izvi zvinogona kureva kuti unonakidzwa nekupedza nguva navo muchikurukura dzakasiyana misoro kana nekuti munhu wacho achikuita kuti utarise zvinhu kubva patsva, nyowani, uye zvinonetsa maonero.

Mune zvimwe zviitiko, vanhu vanoda chinhu chehungwaru kuti vave nerudo kana kukwezva pamoyo, asi havazi vese vanonzwa nenzira iyoyo. Wese munhu muhupenyu hwedu anotamba chikamu chakasiyana uye anozadzisa zvakasarudzika zvido.

6. Kukwezva kwerudo

Munhu anodakadza munhu pabonde akasiyana zvachose nekukwezvwa nemumwe munhu pabonde, kunyangwe iwe uchinzwa imwe yeiyi kune mumwe munhu. Paunenge uchiona kubatana kwerudzi urwu, iwe unoda kukudziridza hukama nemumwe munhu.

Unogona kuda kudanana usingaite chinhu chepabonde, asi hauzove hushamwari chete. Manzwiro acho anenge ari padanho rakadzama kupfuura iro nekuti unenge uchitsvaga kudyidzana nemunhu uyu.

Kana zvasvika pakudanana uye panyama kukwezva, iwe uchaona kuti kukwezva kwepanyama hazvireve kuti kudanana. Vanhu vazhinji vanonakidzwa nekubatwa panyama sekumbundirana, kukwazisana, kupuruzira musana, uye zviito zvakasiyana-siyana neshamwari uye nhengo dzemhuri zvisina chekuita nezverudo.

Muhukama hwepamoyo, kubata kunopfuura kungovawo zvako hushamwari. Vamwe vanhu vane hwema, vachiri kuva nezvinodiwa munharaunda izvo zvinosangana nyore nehukama hweplato, asi hapana chikonzero chekufambidzana, kuroora, zvichingodaro.

7. Kukwezva kunodzokedzana

Kudzokedzana kwekukwezva kunonziwo kudzoreredza "kufarira," iko kukura kwekukwezva kune mumwe munhu mushure mekuona chete kuti munhu ane rudo kana kukwezva kwauri.

Mune mamwe mazwi, "vanhu vakaita sevaya vanovada."

4 Zvinhu zvinogona kukanganisa psychology yekukwezva

Sayenzi, biology, psychology, kana pamwe isu tine ruoko rudiki mukukweva ziso remunhu iyeye isu tiri kutarisira kukwezva. Panogona kuve nezano kana hunyengeri (kana maviri) atinogona kushandisa kubatsira psychology yekukwezva kushanda mashiripiti ayo nemhando dzakasiyana dzekukwezva.

Ngatitarisei pazvinhu zvishoma izvo zvinogona kuve zvine chekuita nekuti mumwe munhu anokupa kechipiri kutarisa.

1. Zvipfuwo

Kune vakawanda vanoda mhuka munyika. Vanhu vazhinji vachatora mukana wekumira votaura nemumwe munhu ari kufamba imbwa pavanenge vari kunze kwekurovedza muviri.

Iyo pembedzo yakanaka yekusangana nemumwe munhu waunonzwa uchikweverwa kwaari asi waisaziva nzira yekutaura nayo. Kana munhu wacho akasangana newe uye akaona paine chinokwezva kumagumo ako, ivo vanozove nemukana wekudzorera.

2. Zviratidzo

Icho chikanganiso icho chero munhu mumwechete anoda kutanga atora danho. Kana iwe uchikwezva, pane zviratidzo zvaunogona kupa kuti mumwe munhu azive.

Izvi zvinogona kusanganisira kuwedzera maziso ako, kuvhura mutauro wako wemuviri kuratidza kugashira kwako kana vachida kuita hurukuro, nekupa kunyemwerera kudiki. Kana zviratidzo zvikasashanda, taura mhoro.

Kana iwe ukashamisika kana mumwe munhu achikwezva kwauri kana kuti kwete, heano zvimwe zviratidzo kana zviratidzo zvekutarisira.

3. Nyemwerera kupenya!

Vanhu vanonakidzwa nenyemwerero yakajeka, ine hushamwari, vachiwana chiratidzo chakasarudzika, kunze kwekunge paine mitemo yakatarwa, kunyanya kune varume nevakadzi, zvinoita sekunge.

Varume havafanirwe kuburitsa yakawandisa yakawandisa, toothy grin pachinzvimbo chekusarudza zvimwe zvekunyemwerera, nepo vakadzi vachifanira kubuda vese nehukuru hwakasimba (Julia Roberts-esque) ane hushamwari flasher.

4. Hunhu hwechiso

Hunhu chaihwo hwechiso hunokwevera vamwe vanhu kune vamwe. Semuenzaniso, panogona kunge paine symmetry, kana inogona zvakare kuve yakasarudzika kana isina kujairika mhando senge ingangove yakamonyoroka mhino kana maziso makuru kana runako runako mucherechedzo kugadzira kumira-kunze chimiro.

Zviso zvinokwezva zvakapusa asi zviri pakati nepakati, kunyanya nekuti zviso "zvakajairika" zvinopa mamwe majini.

Iko genetics chinhu here pakusarudza kukwezva?

Pane imwe tsika yekukweverwa kune yakafanana. Icho chikamu che psychology yekukwezva, kufanana. Kazhinji, kana vanhu vachifananidzwa nezvinhu zvakaita sezera, kumashure, ungwaru, chinzvimbo munharaunda, nezvimwewo, tinokwezva kwavari.

Asi pane zvakare fungidziro yekuti vanhu vakafanana nevatinoda semubereki kana sekuru vanozobata ziso, pamwe neavo vane kujairika kutarisisa kune wekare kana shamwari dzaungangokwezva kwadziri asi kwete kuita zvepabonde kana kudanana.

Munhu wacho anokonzeresa kuita kwekusaziva kwekujairana kana kuzivikanwa izvo zvinowanzoyevedza.

MIBVUNZO

1. Ndezvipi zvinhu zvishanu zvekukwezva?

Pazasi pane zvinhu zvishanu zvinoita kuti uwane mumwe munhu anokwezva.

  • Kuswedera pedyo: kuswedera kwevanhu vaviri
  • Kudzokorora: kufarira mumwe munhu nekuti anokuda
  • Kufanana: vanhu vane hunhu hwakawanda hwakagovaniswa vanokwezva kune mumwe nemumwe
  • Panyamakukwezva: kukweverwa kune mumwe munhu zvichienderana nechitarisiko chavo chakanaka
  • Kuzivikanwa: kuona munhu nguva nenguva.

2. Ndeapi matanho ekukwezva?

Kune anonyanya matanho matatu ekukwezva, anotsanangurwa se

  • Kukwezva kune chitarisiko chemuviri: Chinhu chekutanga chinoonekwa nevamwe kutaridzika kwekunze. Chimwe chinhu nezve maitiro avo anotaridza kukufadza. Izvi zvinosanganisira mapfekero, mapfekero, uye brio.
  • Kukwezva kune hunhu: Ndakafarira chirevo uye ndinogona kutora zvandakaverenga pane izvi ndichiferefeta. Izvi zvakafanana nekutora musangano wekutanga kana "pikicha nhema uye chena uchizadza neruvara."

Iwe unosvika pakuona kana iwe uine chemistry inoenderana neako kukwezva. Kazhinji, munhu wacho anenge akafanana. Zvakadaro, kune akati wandei anopesana anokwezva nekuti izvo zvinoshaya, imwe inopa.

  • Kukwezva kune njere: Kukwezva kuri kukura kwokuti vanhu vanofunga sei uye vanoshandura sei pfungwa idzodzo mumazwi. Kuti udzidze maonero akasarudzika emunhu pane dzakasiyana nhaurwa kana pfungwa, unenge wave nekukurukurirana kune hutano kunotungamira kune ino nhanho.

3. Chii chinoonekwa nevakadzi?

Kune zvinhu zvakasiyana zvinogona kukwezva vakadzi, zvakanakisa ndezvi:

  • Bvisa pfungwa yekugadzikana mukati mako. Kuvimba kwakakosha nekuziva kwakasimba kwehunhu hwako hwekutanga uye usatya kutya kugadzirisa kusasimba kwako, pamwe nekugona kuzvinakidza nenzira ine hutano.
  • Kuvimba nechitarisiko chako: Ratidza chimiro chakaringana newadhiropu inoenderana nechikamu uye nekutevera kuburikidza nekuraira kudya kwakanaka kwekudya kwemanheru.
  • Taura zvakanaka pane zvaunoita: Hapana anoda Nancy asina kunaka. Edza kuda rako basa, zvaunofarira, taura nezve zvaunofarira, taura une shungu nezve hupenyu hwako. Vakadzi vanoona zvinhu izvi zvichikwezva.

4. Chii chinokwezva murume?

Kukwezva murume hezvino zvimwe zvinhu munhu zvaunofanira kuchengeta mundangariro:

  • Iva zvauri uine chivimbo chakazara: Izvo zvichave pachena uye kwete zvinokwezva kana iwe usina hutano hwakanaka-kuzviremekedza. Ipa nehunhu hwako hwakanakisa uye unakirwe navo.

Kana iwe uine quirky divi kana zvisina kujairika maficha, vatambe iwo iwo nekuti

izvi ndizvo vanhu vachakwevera kune vakawanda.

  • Tora bata kwawakambove, mamiriro ako aripo, uye nekwauri kuronga kuenda: Mukadzi ane zvinangwa, kuda chinzvimbo, mabasa ekuzvivaraidza anounza nekufara kwehupenyu, uye charisma iyi inopararira, ichigadzira kutaurirana kunofadza uye nenguva yakanaka.
  • Shandisa muviri wakanaka. Tarisa maziso, vhura mutauro wemuviri, uye kana zvinhu zvikafamba mushe, iva anonongedza pane kudzikisira nezve kufarira kwako uye kukwezva.

5. Vanhu vanoita zvepabonde vanogona kunzwa kukwezva kune mumwe munhu here?

Anexex munhu anogona kuwana mashoma emhando dzakasiyana dzeakakwezva.

Kungoti nekuti mumwe munhu haana chishuwo chebonde hazvireve kuti havagone kukurudzira mune dzimwe nzvimbo dzerudo dzavanosangana neimwe yevamwe.

Iko kusanzwisisika kwakajairika ndekwekuti kukwezva kwakaenzana pabonde, uye izvo hazvisi zvechokwadi.

6. Ko vanhu vanoita zvepabonde vanotaura nezvebonde here?

Anexual munhu zvachose anogona kuve bisexual, yakatwasuka, queer, kana ngochani.

Kukwezva kwepabonde kunongova chinhu chimwe chete chekukwezva. Iye munhu haasviki kukwezva pabonde, uye zvakare ivo havadi kusangana pabonde. Izvo hazvitadzise chero chimwe chezvinhu zvekukwezva.

Mifungo yekupedzisira

Pfungwa dzinongoerekana dzauya mupfungwa kana mumwe munhu akataura nezvekukwezva ndeye bonde kana rudo. Izvo zvakadzika munharaunda. Hapana anofunga nezvenyaya iyi kune akawanda marudzi akasiyana ekukwezvana ane chekuita nehukama hwakasiyana hwatakatakura muhupenyu hwedu.

Vanhu vazhinji vanozorora pane fungidziro yekuti zvirinani kusabatanidza akawanda mavara emafungiro ega. Zvakadaro, kunzwisisa mashandiro anoita pfungwa uye nei ichidaro nenzira yainoita pakupedzisira kunogona kutitungamira mukudyidzana kune hutano uye kunofadza.

Izvo zvinoita yakasimba nyaya yekuti nei tichida aya akapatsanurwa mazita senge mhando dzekukwezva.