Zvemukati
- Humbowo hwesainzi
- Zvakanakira zvishanu zverurefu rudo
- 1. Kuvandudza kutaurirana
- 2. Kuwedzera kushuva uye chishuwo
- 3. Kusanyanya kunetseka
- 4. Yakawedzera 'iwe' nguva
- 5. Kuzvipira kwakadzama
- Kuti avo vasiri muhukama hwehukama hukama vangabatsirika sei
Rurefu rudo runowanzoonekwa mune yakashata mwenje kana ichinge iine mabhenefiti ayo. Kana iwe uchifunga nezvenzira yatinoshamwaridzana nayo, kangani isu tinoda kushamwaridzana nevanhu vamwechete uye maitiro atinoita kana mumwe munhu semushanyi wemba akamiririra kugamuchirwa kwake, hazvinetsi kunzwisisa. Tinoda vanhu muhupenyu hwedu asi rudo irwo harureve kuti tinoda ivo nguva dzese. Nerudo rurefu, une iyo inoda nzvimbo. Avo vari muhukama hwehurefu hwakareba vanogona kukwezva zvakanyanya kune wavanodanana naye, murudo chose, vanokwanisa kubatana padanho rehungwaru uye kunakirwa nechido chiri kuburikidza nedenga nezviuru zvemamaira pakati pavo.
Humbowo hwesainzi
Zvinoenderana neongororo yakaitwa nechikwata chekutsvagisa chakatungamirwa naQueen's University psychologist Emma Dargie, vanhu vasina kuroora muhukama hwakareba (LDRs) havawani hukama hwehukama hwakaderera pane avo vasiri muhukama hwakareba. Chidzidzo ichi chinosanganisira mazana mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemakumi mana nemurume varume varume vanhu mazana vanhu makumi mana nevaviri (303) muhukama hwakareba pamwe nevakadzi makumi matatu nemakumi mana nevane makumi mana nevaviri vaigara padyo nemumwe wavo vakaona kuti vese vanoita zvakaenzana. Kunyanya kunakidza, iwo marefu marefu machato avo vaigara kure kubva kune mumwe nemumwe vaiita zvirinani maererano nekutaurirana, kushamwaridzana, uye kugutsikana kwese. Kana icho chisiri humbowo hwakakwana, chidzidzo chakaburitswa mu Zvinyorwa zveKutaurirana muna Chikumi wegore ra2013 rakawana kuti zvisinei nekutenda kwakakurumbira, rudo rurefu runogona kugutsa. Nguva yemhando inobata kukosha kupfuura huwandu.
Zvakanakira zvishanu zverurefu rudo
1. Kuvandudza kutaurirana
Kutaurirana ndiyo nhamba yekutanga muhukama asi iyi ishoma yenyaya ine marefu marefu. Icho chikonzero chakanyanya kukonzerwa nemapato ese ari kuita kuyedza kwekuramba vachitaurirana nekuti ichi ndicho chikuru sosi yavo yekubatana vachiri kure. Kunyangwe kutaurirana kunoitwa kuburikidza nezwi kufona, zvinyorwa, email kana Skype, vese vaviri vaviri vane mukana wekutaurirana zvinobudirira nekuti,
1. Nharaunda yacho,
2. Avo vari muhukama hwakareba vane kudyidzana kushoma kwezuva nezuva nemunhu wavo chaiye, uye
3. Vanoda kuisa hupenyu hwavo patafura kuti vachengetedze mumwe wavo achivandudzwa uye nekuchengetedza hukama hwakanaka, hwakavhurika, uye hwakavimbika.
Pamwe pamwe nekuvandudzwa kwekutaurirana, kudyidzana kune zvakunoreva. Vakaroorana muhukama hurefu hwehukama vanowanzoita nhaurirano dzinogutsa idzo dzinopa kuchengetedza chisungo chakasimba. Zvirinani, ivo vanodzidza matauriro uye kuteerera. Avo vari muRDR vanoshandisa kutaurirana kugovana manzwiro avo kune mumwe neumwe padanho rakadzama sezvo paine mukaha wenharaunda uye vanowana kunzwisisana kwakakwirira kweumwe neumwe semhedzisiro.
2. Kuwedzera kushuva uye chishuwo
Kushuva uye chishuwo zvinoramba zviri zvipenyu kana vakaroorana vasingakwanise kusangana panyama pese pavanenge vachida. Hwehukama hwehukama hukama hunosimudzira hwakawanda kuita nguva dzekunze nekuti vadyidzani vanoshuvira mukana wekubatana panyama uye izvo zvinotungamira kumanheru asingakanganwiki ehukama hwepedyo. Izvi zvinonyanya kukonzerwa nekusuwa uye kutarisira kunovaka uri kure nemumwe. Uku kutarisira kunoputika vanhu vaviri pavanozobatana zvakare kuri kuzadzikisa, kugutsa kukuru, uye kuchipisa chete. Zvakaoma kuti pfarivhu dzive fizz kana vanhu vaviri vasingapedze nguva yakawanda kudaro vari pamwe chete. Kushaikwa kwenguva kunochengetedza hutsva munhu wese anofadzwa nekutanga kwehukama.
3. Kusanyanya kunetseka
Bhenefiti inozivikanwa-diki yerudo rwekure kure hainetseke. Iko kune chaiko kubatana pakati pehukama kugutsikana uye kushushikana. Vatsvagiri vePomona College vakaongorora iyi link nekutora zvakanyanya, "relational savoring" kana kushandisa ndangariro kuchengetedza hukama hwakasimba hwepamoyo kana paine kushayikwa kwekutarisana kumeso. Vatsvagiri vanoisa zvidzidzo kuburikidza neakateedzana emiedzo yekushushikana munzvimbo inodzorwa kuti vaone kana kuchengetedza kwehukama kwaive nzira inoshanda yekunyaradza uye kufungidzira chii? Zvanga zviri. Kureba kunokurudzira vakaroorana kuti vatarise pane zvakanaka uye positivity zvinokanganisa hukama nenzira yakanakisa apo zvichipa mufaro kune vese vanhu vanobatanidzwa.
4. Yakawedzera 'iwe' nguva
Imwezve yekuwedzera yekureba nzvimbo yekuda kuve nenguva yakawanda kwauri. Kusina chakakosha chimwe chakatenderedza nguva dzese kune zvayakanakira. Nekuda kweiyo yekuwedzera nguva yemahara, vanhu vane maawa akawanda ekuisa muchitarisiko chavo, kugwinya kwemuviri, uye zviitiko zvavanofarira kuita vega. Wese munhu anofanirwa kunge aine hudyire dzimwe nguva uye muDRR hapana chikonzero chekunzwa zvakashata nezvazvo. Nguva yega iri inobatsira zvakanyanya kugarika kwemunhu uye mweya wakazara. Mupiro iwoyo pakupedzisira uchavandudza hukama hwese, zvese zvine rudo uye kwete.
5. Kuzvipira kwakadzama
Kuzvipira kune mumwe mudaro mudiwa kunoda kuzvipira kwakadzama mune imwe pfungwa. Vanhu vakatarisana nemiyedzo, husiku hwakasurukirwa uye iyo nguva apo vese vari vaviri vanoshuvira kuti mumwe wavo aripo kuitira kuti chiitiko chigovanike. Pane zvinokanganisa zvehukama hwakareba hukama. Kunyangwe pakutanga zvaionekwa sezvipingaidzo, izvi zvakare zvikonzero hukama hwehukama hwakareba hwakakosha kwazvo. Kukunda zvipingamupinyi zvine hukama nerudzi urwu rwehukama kuratidzwa kwakanaka kwekuzvipira kwevanhu vaviri kune mumwe nemumwe. Iko kutsunga kuita kuti zvinhu zvishande zvine rudo chaizvo uye chinhu chatinga torere tese kubva kwachiri. Hukama hwepedyo nere kure hunoda kushingirira kumagumo ese.
Kuti avo vasiri muhukama hwehukama hukama vangabatsirika sei
Avo vasiri muhukama hwehukama hwakareba vanogona kubatsirwa kubva pamusoro nekuchengetedza kwavo kwakasarudzika. Vanhu vari muhukama vanofanirwa kutsvaga svikiro rinofara pakati pekuve muhukama uye nekuzvipa nguva yavo vega. Pedza mazuva mashoma wakaparadzana, enda parwendo neshamwari kana kungoisa parutivi husiku hushoma pasvondo kuti ugare pamba wega uye kuzvimonera nebhuku rakanaka. Kuva wega sezvakangoita nezvako zvakakosha kune hutano uye kuchaita kuti rudo rwugare kwenguva refu. Wese munhu anofanira kurarama hupenyu hwake. Kukoshesa pakati pevamwe vako kwakatonyanya kukosha kupfuura kureba chaiko. Kutarisa pane zvakanaka muhukama uye kunyatso kukoshesa nguva yega yega pamwe chete kunoita kuti kudyidzana kuenderere mberi.