Zvemukati
- Tora nguva yekuzorora pakati pehukama
- Rega kuenda kune zvakapfuura
- Dzidza kufambidzana zvinobudirira
- Kubatanidza pfungwa uye manzwiro
Uri murume ari kutsvaga rudo here?
Mamirioni evarume izvozvi, pasirese pasirese vari kutsvaga rudo.
Ivo vari kutsvaga iye iyeye "akakwana mudiwa," vamwe vangatodaidza kuti yavo "mweya shamwari." "
Asi 90% yedu tiri kuita zvisirizvo kufamba kana zvasvika pakutsvaga musikana chaiye.
Saka chii chatinoita, isu tinosarudza sei weupenyu wekufambidzana naye akakodzera isu?
Kwemakore makumi matatu apfuura, munyori wekutanga anotengesa zvakanyanya, chipangamazano, uye gurukota David Essel vanga vachibatsira varume kuti vanzwisise rudo, simba rerudo, uye kuti vangatsvage sei mukwanyina chaiye.
Pazasi, David anotaura nezve kudiwa kwekunonoka uye kutevera nzira yake nedzidziso kuitira kuti varume vagopedzisira vagadzira mhando yerudo rwavanoshuvira.
"Nekuti varume vanoona zvakanyanya muchisikigo, tinowanzoenderera mberi tichitarisa zvinoonekwa panyama yemudiwa wepamoyo kana chimwewo chinhu."
Isu tinoita zvikanganiso zvakafanana kakawanda uye zvakare mukutsvaga kwedu kwekusarudza chaiyo.
Sezvineiwo, semupi wezano, ini ndine vatengi vangu vechirume avo vari kutsvaga rudo rwekugadzira chiitiko chatinoti chimiro chehukama hwekare.
Zviri nyore; zvese zvavanoita kunyora nezve wese munhu wavakave muhukama naye, kuti ndeapi matambudziko aive muhukama, uye nemabatiro avo aive mukusagadzikana kwekuyedza kwemutemo.
Ndiri 99% yenguva yacho; izvo vatengi vangu vanowana ndezvekuti vanga vachidzingirira chinhu chisina kunaka nguva dzese.
Ivo havana kuenda zvakadzama zvakakwana, kana pamwe havana kutora nguva yakakwana kubva pakati pehukama, kana kuti zvimwe vachiri kurarama munyika yekufungidzira iyo munhu akakwana achazopinda mukuvapo kwavo uye kuita kuti zvese zvive zvakanaka.
Vazhinji vevashandi vangu vechirume havana kumboziva kuti ndivo muponesi, chena chena pabhiza, vachitsvaga vakadzi kuti vanunure, vachitsvaga vakadzi vanoda rubatsiro kungave nemari kana nekurera vana kana nebasa ravo.
Uye varume vazhinji vanoyamwa muvortex imwechete, kumeso kwakasiyana, uye mazita akasiyana asi hukama hwakafanana husina kusimba hwakazadzwa nenyonganiso nemutambo wavakave nawo hupenyu hwavo hwese.
Saka sei kusarudza mumwe wako nehungwaru?
Aya anotevera mamwe matipi ekukubatsira kudzivirira zvikanganiso zvinoitwa nevarume muhukama uye kusarudza wekugara naye akakukodzera.
Tora nguva yekuzorora pakati pehukama
Pakupera kwehukama, ronga kutora isingasviki mwedzi mitanhatu kubva.
Izvi zvinoreva kuti hapana kufambidzana; kana iwe uri wakakomba nezverudo rwakadzama, zvinoreva kushanda nemupi wezano chipangamazano, mushumiri, kana murairidzi wehukama, kuti uone zvandiri kugovera mune ino chinyorwa.
Ndechipi chinzvimbo chedu mukusagadzikana kwehukama hwerudo?
Rega kuenda kune zvakapfuura
Mushure mekuziva kuti rako basa nderei iwe ramba uchienderera mberi.
Uri kungoita-zvehasha, urikutonga mune zvakasikwa, uri wekushuwira-uye unoenda nechero kwaunoda kuenda nemumwe wako.
Mushure mekufunga zvese izvo, tinofanira regerera mumwe nemumwe isu tanga tiine munguva yakapfuura kana yakaguma zvisina kunaka.
Izvi zvakakosha! Kana iwe usinga pfuure nenzira yekuregerera (hapana chekuita newe kuungana pamwe newaimbova mudiwa) uye woburitsa chero chigumbu chauinacho, uchaenda uine jaded mindset muhukama hwako hunotevera, husingamboshanda zvakanyanya.
Tarisa hurukuro iyi ine simba pamusoro pekuti Ungafambira mberi sei, rega uende & siya zvako zvakapfuura munguva yakapfuura.
Dzidza kufambidzana zvinobudirira
Mubhuku redu rinotengesa zvakanyanya, "Rudo uye hukama zvakavanzika. Kuti munhu wese anofanira kuziva!
Neichi chiitwa, ndine varume vanonyora pasi izvo zvavanofunga se "madhiri ekuuraya" murudo.
Uye iro runyorwa runogona kuve rwakareba, asi isu tinoedza kudzikisa pasi kusvika pakati pematanhatu negumi ehunhu iwe aunoziva kuti haana kumbobvira akashanda munguva yakapfuura paakaedza kusarudza mumwe wehupenyu.
Ndosaka tichiita zvese zvekunyora nezvehukama hwekare, uye kana zvikasashanda, saka mikana ndeyekuti hazvishande mune ramangwana futi.
Kubatanidza pfungwa uye manzwiro
Vamwe vevatengi vangu vechirume, pavanopinda muchiitwa ichi, vanowana ruzivo rwunoshamisa, vazhinji vacho havadi kufambidzana nevakadzi vane vana, asi kana vakatarisa maitiro avo ekare murudo vagara vachidanana nevakadzi vane vana.
Vamwe varume vanozoona kuti vanofanirwa kusarudza wekugara naye anofarira zvimwe zvakafanana zvavanofarira, kwete vese, hongu, asi ivo vanoda imwe mhando yekufananidza iyo gasi chimwe chinhu chekuita kunze kwemba yekurara.
Sezvo ini ndichiudza vese vatengi vangu, mukati memazuva makumi mapfumbamwe ekutanga ehukama, kana iwe ukashandisa pfungwa, senge iwo 3% mutemo wekufambidzana, uye kuziva kwepamoyo kusarudza wehupenyu waunofambidzana naye:
"Munhu uyu akanaka vanouya nenguva, vanogara vachiita zvavanoti vachazoita ... Zvinoita kuti ndinzwe ndakakosha kwavari".
Une mukana wakanaka chaizvo wekutsvaga mudiwa.
Asi iwe unofanirwa kuteerera mukati memazuva ekutanga makumi mapfumbamwe!
Vazhinji vedu takabatwa mukuda bonde, kuda bonde, kuita bonde kutisimbisa sevarume zvekuti hatiise chero nguva yekutarisa hunhu hwevanhu vatiri kufambidzana navo, izvo zvinogona kunge zvisina kukodzera isu.
Saka kana iwe ukatarisa kune ako ekare hukama uye ukaona kuti wakambodanana nevakadzi vanoda rubatsiro rwemari, isu tinofanirwa kurega izvo.
Kana iwe wakambodanana nevakadzi munguva yakapfuura vane vana, uye iwe uchiziva kuti haudi kubata nevana, isu tinofanirwa kupedza iyo yekudanana kutenderera isati yatombotanga miniti isu taziva kuti vane vana.
Kana kuti pamwe uri murume anoda mhuri, uye mukati memazuva makumi mapfumbamwe ekutanga, iwe unowana kunzwa uye iko kusimbiswa kwekuti mukadzi wauri kufambidzana naye haadi kuita vana. Unofanira kuzvipedza.
Iwe unoona, uku ndiko kusanganisa kwemafungiro uye nemanzwiro izvo zvinokupa iwe yakanakisa mukana wekusarudza wekugara naye uye kugadzira hukama hwakadzama, hwakavhurika, hunopfuurira.
Kana iwe uchinyatsoita zvemitambo, uye zvinotora yakawanda yenguva yako, chingave chidimbu chakakura chezano kuti uzvipe iwe nguva usati wazvipira kuhukama kusvikira iwe wasarudza wehupenyu waunofambidzana naye zvakare anove zvishoma anofarira mumitambo.
Handisi kuti unofanirwa kusarudza mumwe wehupenyu uyo ari girazi mufananidzo wako, asi iwe unofanirwa kunyora pasi izvo zvinhu zvisati zvamboshanda kare, uye ita shuwa kuti usazvidzokorora.
Pamwe haugone kufambidzana nemumwe munhu anosvuta, asi unotarisa zvakapfuura, uye vakadzi vaviri kana vatatu vawaidanana navo vaisvuta, uye hukama hwacho hwakaguma zvakashata.
Hukama hwako hahuzombopera zvakashata kana iwe ukavhurika, kuvimbika, kutaura, uye iwe uchiziva zvinokushandira iwe nezvisingashande.
Mashoko ekupedzisira
Varume vazhinji, vakagumburwa murudo, vanogona kudzora kushushikana kwavo ne90% nekutevera ruzivo rwuri pamusoro.
Gadzira rondedzero yezvinhu izvo zvisingamboshandira iwe izvo zvakakosha; ndiwo mutemo we3% wekudanana.
Wobva wagadzira rondedzero yezvakajairika zvaungade kuva nazvo nemumwe munhu; zvido zvakafanana zvinogona kunge zviri mumitambo, chinamato, kana basa. Iwe unofanirwa kuve nezvakawanda kupfuura kungoita zvepabonde chete.
Uyezve, ita shuwa kuti kubatana pabonde kwakakodzera, kwakaringana, uye mutambo wemwi mose.
Rudo ruri pano; kana uchida, uchafanira kunonoka kuti uwane.
Basa raDavid Essel rinotsigirwa nevanhu vakaita semushakabvu Wayne Dyer, uye mukurumbira Jenny Mccarthy anoti, "David Essel ndiye mutungamiri mutsva wesangano rakanaka rekufunga."
Basa rake semupi wezano uye gurukota rakasimbiswa nePsychology Nhasi, uye Marriage.com yakasimbisa David semumwe wevakuru vehukama hwehukama uye nyanzvi munyika.
Kuti ushande naDavid, kubva chero kupi kuburikidza nefoni kana Skype, ndapota shanya www.davidessel.com.