Zvemukati
Ndeipi yakakosha kukosha kiyi, munyika yekufambidzana, munyika yehukama?
Saka vanhu vazhinji vanoda kutsvaga rudo rwakadzama.
Vamwe vanoda kutora hukama hwavo hwazvino voenda mune yakazvipira uye inonakidza nhandare.
Uye vamwe vari kuyedza kufunga kana zvichikwanisika kuchengetedza hukama hwavo hwazvino.
Saka chii chiri kushaikwa mune zvese izvi zviitiko?
Kwemakore makumi matatu apfuura, munyori wekutanga anotengesa zvakanyanya, chipangamazano, master Life Coach, uye gurukota David Essel vanga vachibatsira vanhu nevakaroora kuti vanzwisise matanho akakosha anotora kuumba hunoshamisa rudo hukama.
Pazasi, David anogovera pfungwa dzake pane iyo kiyi isipo iyo kana isu tangoibata pairi, zvinoita kuti hukama ive gehena yezvakawanda zvakanyanya.
Kiyi isipo
“Paunofunga nezverudo, iwe unofungei nezvazvo?
Vanhu vazhinji vanofunga nezve manzwiro. Chido. Kugarisana. Ruchiva kana zvido zvepabonde. Kufarira.
Vamwe vaizotambanudza izvi uye vanosanganisira tsitsi, kutaurirana, nezvimwe.
Asi pachine chimwe chinhu chisipo kana zvasvika pakugadzira hukama hwakanaka!
Uye kuti chimwe chinhu chisipo chiri kuzokushamisa iwe.
Mubhuku redu idzva rinotengesa zvakanyanya, "Rudo uye hukama zvakavanzika ... Kuti munhu wese anoda kuziva!"
Ini ndinoenda mune yakadzama tsananguro ndichitaura nezve chisipo chinongedzo, zvisipo zvisipo, uye izvo zvatinofanira kuita kuti tigadzire imwe nzira yerudo munyika ino.
Mumakore edu makumi mana ezviitiko, takaona kuti 80% yehukama haina hutano.
Verenga izvo zvakare.
80% yehukama haina hutano!
Uye nei zvakadaro? Inogona kumhanya kubva pakudhakwa kuenda kune fungidziro, kune kushaiwa, kungoita-zvehasha maitiro, kutonga, kutonga, codependency, uye nezvimwe.
Vanhu vanoramba vakanamatira muhukama nekuti havadi kuva vega.
Vanhu vanoramba vakanamatira muhukama nekuti ivo havanzwe kunge vanokodzera chero chinhu chiri nani kupfuura chavari ikozvino.
Asi pachine chimwe chinhu chisipo!
Saka chii icho ... Chii chinoshaikwa muhukama hwese uhu husina hutano hunogona kuita mutsauko chaiwo munyika yehupenyu?
Izvo zvinoshaikwa muhukama husina hutano zvakajairika muhukama hwakanaka.
Uye chii icho chinhu icho? Zvine musoro.
Oo, Ishe wangu, ndiri kunzwa kuchema kubva kuvharanda izvozvi.
"David, Rudo runofanirwa kukoshesa manzwiro kupfuura kufunga ... David, urikuedza kutinonotsa uye kusatendera moyo yedu kuvhurika ... David, rudo nderwekungonzwa kukwezva, kuenderana, uye kusarudza manzwiro pamusoro pemafungiro ... Ndokumbira usaunze pfungwa mune izvi; zviri kukanganisa zvese zvinonakidza! "
Iwe unoenderana here nezvataurwa pamusoro apa nezve logic vs. manzwiro muhukama?
Kufunga vs. manzwiro
Kana iwe uri muhukama husina hutano, kunyangwe iwe uchida kubvumirana kana kwete, mamwe emakomendi ari pamusoro anoshanda zvakanyanya kuti sei iwe uri muhukama hwehukama.
Asi ko zvakadii nezve makumi maviri muzana evakaroorana vane hukama hwakanaka?
Apa ndipo patakagamuchira ruzivo rwedu rwakakosha, rwuri pamusoro pemakore makumi mana apfuura, tichienzanisa 80% yevakaroora vari muhukama husina hutano maringe ne20% iri mune vane hutano.
Uye mutsauko uri nyore chaizvo kuona: zvine musoro.
Kana vanhu vachifambidzana, vanotendera moyo yavo kupinda munzira yemafungiro avo, ivo vanotendera zvishuwo zvavo zvebonde kupinda munzira yekufunga, uye ivo zvakare vanobvumidza yavo codependency, sekutya kuve wega kuti vapinde munzira yekufunga zvakare.
Asi zvine musoro ndiyo mhinduro! Kufunga nemanzwiro, kana zvabatanidzwa, ndiyo mhinduro yekuumba hukama hwakasimba hune rudo hunodakadza vazhinji vedu uye tinoshaikwa.
Saka nekufunga, isu tisati tatombotanga kudanana, isu tinoziva hunhu hwemumwe munhu uyo asingazotishande.
Kunyangwe zvii zvimwe zvavanounza patafura, kana vaine chero vatengesi vedu, hatisi kuzotenga muupengo hwekumanikidza zvatinoziva kuti ichokwadi, chii chinotishandira kana chisingashande isu parutivi nekuda kwe ... Iva nemuviri mukuru ... Iva nemari yakawanda ... Iva nesimba ... Kana kuzviisa pasi uye uchaita chero zvatinokumbira.
Kubatanidza pfungwa uye nemanzwiro
Kune nzira dzakawanda dzakasiyana dzatinoruramisa, tichiruramisa kugara mukati, kana kupinda muhukama husina hutano.
Asi kana iwe ukabatanidza pfungwa nemanzwiro, iwe unozogadzira zvinoshamisa zviitiko zverudo.
Asi muchokwadi, vashoma chete vanhu vanoziva maitiro ekudzikisira pfungwa uye nekunzwisisa. Tsvagiridzo yakagumisawo kuti manzwiro anogona kuita zvakakosha pakurangarira kwedu kwakaringana mumativi akasiyana ehupenyu hwedu.
Takasungirirwa pakuverenga mabhuku enganonyorwa dzerudo, mafirimu erudo, zvinyorwa zvemumagazini izvo zvinotaura nezvekutsvaga "mweya" wako, uye kumanikidza kutsvaga "mweya wako," kunyanya paunenge uchikura, kunowedzera zvakanyanya.
Nekuda kweiyo patinoisa pfungwa tichipesana nemanzwiro, mafungiro anonyatso kubuda nepahwindo!
Kushaiwa kwedu ... Kutya kwedu kuva tega ... Kuda kwedu kugamuchirwa neveruzhinji nekuti izvozvi tave ne "mudiwa."
Ngatimbodzikirai.
Kana iwe ukatarisa kuhukama hwako hwekare uye hwakazadzwa nemutambo uye mhirizhonga, zvinova zvizhinji zvedu, svika kune nyanzvi nhasi kuti utange kutanga maitiro aunofanirwa kushandura zvaunotenda, pfungwa uye kunyangwe pfungwa dzisingazive mukati kuronga kugadzira rwumwe rudzi rwerudo mune ramangwana.
Isu tinopa "jumpstart, 30-maminetsi ekupa zano chikamu", kune vanhu vanobva pasirese pasirese kuburikidza nefoni uye Skype kuvabatsira kuti vangangotanga nzira yekuongorora izvo zvavanotenda, uye nemabatiro avanogona kuunza pfungwa zhinji munyika kudanana, rudo, uye hukama.
Ndinoziva kuti ndinogona kukubatsira, uye ndinoziva kuti uchave unofara kuita basa iri. "