Zvemukati
- 1. Nzira yekutanga - kushoropodza
- 2. Nzira yechipiri - kuzvidza
- 3. Nzira yechitatu - kuzvidzivirira
- 4. Nzira yechina - kudonhedza mabwe
Mumwe munhu munguva pfupi yapfuura akagovana neni aya anopa hupenyu mazwi kubva kuna Richard Rohr neni:
“Iyo ego inowana zvainoda nemashoko.
Mweya unowana zvaunoda wakanyarara. ”
Pandakatora nguva kugara nechirevo ichi, ndakanyatsorohwa neshoko iri. Kana isu tichigara mune iyo ego, isu tinopokana, kupomera, kunyara, makuhwa, kutonga, kuzviita munhu, kuenzanisa, kukwikwidza, uye kudzivirira nemashoko edu.
Ego yedu inotikoka kuti tiratidze kukosha kwedu kuburikidza nemaitiro edu.
Asi, kana tichirarama kunze kwemweya, tinosangana isu nevamwe nenzira yakatosiyana. Panzvimbo pekukwikwidza kweiyo ego, maitiro aya anosanganisira sarudzo yekupindura kune vamwe nenzira yakapfava. Panzvimbo pekurarama mukuzvibata kwedu, isu tinopa vamwe kunzwira urombo, kuteerera kwekuratidzira, tsitsi, kuregerera, nyasha, kuremekedza, uye kukudzwa.
Carl Jung akataura kuti tinoshandisa hafu yekutanga yehupenyu hwedu kusimudzira egos uye yechipiri hafu yehupenyu hwedu tichidzidza kurega kwavo. Nehurombo, egos edu anogona kunyatsopinda munzira muhukama.
Hukama hwedu nevamwe vatinoshanda navo, vatinoshanda navo, shamwari uye nhengo dzemhuri hungachinja sei kana tikatanga rwendo rutsvene rwekurega egos yedu?
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa, John Gottman, akagadzira dzidziso yeVane Vatasvi vemabhiza eApocalypse. Anotora mutauro uyu kubva muBhuku raZvakazarurwa muTestamente Itsva. Nepo Bhuku raZvakazarurwa richitsanangura kupera kwenguva, John Gottman anoshandisa fananidzo iyi kutsanangura mataira ekutaurirana anogona kuporofita kuguma kwevaviri. Idzi nzira ina dzekupedzisa hukama dzinosanganisira kushoropodza, kuzvidza, kuzvidzivirira uye kupwanya matombo.
1. Nzira yekutanga - kushoropodza
Kutsoropodza ndipo patinorwisa neunhu hunhu hwemumwe wedu, maitiro kana hunhu. Ini ndinofunga zvakakosha kuti uzive kuti kana tikatsoropodza imwe hafu yedu, isu tiri kurarama kunze kwehunhu hwedu.
Mumwe muenzaniso wekugara kunze kweiyo ego angave ari murume anotarisa gwaro remhuri kubhengi uye obva aona kuti mukadzi wake awedzera mari yavo bi-vhiki bhajeti ne $ 400. Anotsamwa uye anobva atsoropodza mudzimai wake nekutaura chimwe chinhu senge - Haumborarama mukati mebhajeti. Iwe unogara uchiita izvi uye ini ndiri pamusoro pehupenyu hwako hwaKim Kardashian.
Aya mazwi ekutsoropodza angangovhara hurukuro nekuti mukadzi akarwiswa ne 'iwe haumbofi uye iwe unogara' mutauro.
Asi, ndeipi mhinduro yekufunga isingafambiswe neiyo ego?
"Mweya unowana zvaunoda mukunyarara" - Richard Rohr
Imwe nzira yekufunga ndeyekutora mweya wekufema uye kufunga nezve maitiro aungaite netsitsi kune mumwe wako.
Mumwe mweya unogona kuita - "Ndanga ndichitarisa zvirevo zvedu nhasi uye taenda $ 400 pamusoro pebhajeti. Ndiri kunyatsonzwa kunetseka nezvekuti tichava nezvakakwana here pamudyandigere wedu. Zvinoita here kuti isu titaure zvakawanda nezve zvatiri kushandisa mari pazviri uye kuti tiwedzere kufunga mashandisiro edu? ”
Mukupindura uku, murume anoshandisa 'ini' mutauro uye anoratidza zvaari kuda nenzira yakanaka. Iye zvakare anobvunza mubvunzo, uyo unokoka hurukuro.
2. Nzira yechipiri - kuzvidza
Imwe nzira inoenda kumagumo ehukama hwepabonde kana hwehukama kuzvidza.
Kana isu tichishandisa ruzvidzo, tinokanda kutuka kazhinji uye tichiona zvakashata mune mumwe wedu. Kuzvidza ndeye mhinduro inotungamirwa neiyo ego nekuti tinoona vatinoshanda navo sevatadzi uye isu pachedu saiye mutsvene. Tinozviparadzanisa nevamwe nekuvatsanangudza semwana mukuru, munhu anoda kukwana, anonyengerera, ane husimbe, ane hasha, anozvifunga, asingabatsiri, anokanganwa, uye mamwe akawanda mazita asina kunaka.
Panzvimbo pekuona mudiwa semunhu akazara aine masimba uye nekukura kumacheto, tinovaona mune yakashata yakajeka mwenje. Imwe mushonga wekuzvidza kuvaka tsika yekusimbisa nekutenda. Iyi mhinduro yemweya imwe yatinotarisira kuudza mumwe wedu, shamwari, uye mhuri zvatinoonga pamusoro pavo nekuvatenda kana vaita chinhu chinobatsira kana kufunga.
Mashoko edu ekusimbisa achapa simba mudiwa wedu uye nehukama.
3. Nzira yechitatu - kuzvidzivirira
Kuzvidzivirira ndeimwe nzira inoenda kumagumo ehukama.
Vanhu vazhinji vanozvidzivirira kana vachishoropodzwa, asi kuzvidzivirira imhinduro yegove isingambogadzirise chero chinhu.
Semuenzaniso 1-
Vamwe amai vanoudza mwanakomana wavo ari kuyaruka, 'Zvakare, isu tanonoka.' Anodzorera, 'Haisi mhosva yangu isu takanonoka. Ndezvako nekuti hauna kundimutsa nenguva '.
Mune chero hukama hwakapihwa, kuzvidzivirira inzira yekuronga basa nekupa mumwe munhu mhosva. Mhinduro ndeyekugamuchira kuzvidavirira kwechikamu chedu mumamiriro ese ezvinhu, kunyangwe zvikave zvechikamu ichocho chekupokana.
Semuenzaniso 2-
Kuti umise kutenderera kwekukanganisa, amai vanogona kupindura nepfungwa, 'ndine hurombo. Ndinoshuva dai ndakamutsa kare. Asi pamwe tinogona kutanga kugeza usiku uye kuve nechokwadi chekuti tinogadzira edu maaramu wachi gumi maminetsi apfuura mangwanani. Izvi zvinoita sezano here? '
Naizvozvo, kuda kuziva chikamu chedu mudambudziko inzira yekukunda kuzvidzivirira.
4. Nzira yechina - kudonhedza mabwe
Stonewalling ndeimwe hunhu hunhu hunogona kuve hwakafa magumo ehukama. Apa kana mumwe munhu abva mukusawirirana uye asisiri kuita naboss, mudiwa kana mudiwa. Zvinowanzoitika kana mumwe munhu achinzwa kunetseka pamoyo uye nekudaro maitiro avo ndeekuvhara pasi nekubvisa.
Mushonga wekutema mabwe ndeyekuti munhu mumwe chete ari muhukama ataure zvido zvavo zvekutora nguva kubva kunharo, asi kuvimbisa kutenderera kudzoka kukakavadzano.
Shift ako magiya kubva kune ego-inotyairwa kune mamwe mafungiro mhinduro
Kutsoropodza, kuzvidza, kuzvidzivirira uye kupwanya matombo dzese mhinduro dzinotungamirwa kune vamwe.
Richard Rohr anotiyeuchidza kuti isu tinogona kurarama kunze kwegodo redu kana isu tinogona kurarama kunze kwemoyo yedu nzvimbo, iyo ichagara iri mhinduro yehungwaru, yemweya, yekurangarira uye inonzwisisika.
Zvakaitika iwe pachako
Ndakaona kuti pandiri kutora iyo yoga kirasi uye nekudzidzira kunze kweangu ego, ini dzimwe nguva ndanga ndakuvara mumuviri mukirasi. Zvisinei, pandinoteerera muviri wangu uye ndichifunga nezve izvo zvandinofanira kuzvipa ini, handikuvadzi.
Nenzira imwecheteyo yatinogona kuzvikuvadza pachedu nekurarama kunze kweiyo ego, isu tinogona zvakare kukuvadza vamwe uye isu pachedu munzira dzekunzwa patinogara kunze kwenzvimbo inoshanda yemusoro yatinoti iyo ego.
Tora nguva yekufungisisa kuti ndiani muhupenyu hwako wanga uchipindura kubva kune yako ego. Ungaita sei kuti uchinje magiya uye uwedzere mweya, kurangarira, uye netsitsi mukuita kwako kumunhu uyu?
Kana isu tichigara neiyo ego, isu tinogona kusangana nekushushikana, kushushikana, uye kutsamwa. Asi, kana tichirarama kubva mumweya, isu tinowana hwakawanda hupenyu, rusununguko, uye mufaro.