Zvemukati
- Chinhu mukutenda kana iwe uri kutsvaga hukama hunofadza
- Zvimwe zvakanaka zvekuratidzira nekusangana nekutenda zvinosanganisira:
- Kuputsa kubva panzira yeiyo egoism
- Pfeka magirazi ekutenda kuti uone mumwe wako zviri nani
- Kuonga kuchachinja hukama hwako newawakaroorana naye
Wakambotenda mumwe wako munguva pfupi yapfuura here? Kana zvisina kudaro, ndinokukurudzira kuti uti 'Maita henyu,' panguva ino nekuti G ndeyekuti "Kuonga" muThe Relationship Alphabet.
Iyo Relationship Alphabet ndiko kusikwa kwaZach Brittle, ane Rezinesi Mental Health Counsirayera, uye Certified Gottman Therapist anogara muSeattle. Zach's yekutanga blog zvinyorwa paGottman Institute yakwezva kutarisisa kwakawanda kubvira yaburitswa mubhuku- Iyo Relationship Alphabet: Gwara Rinoshanda rekubatana Nani kwevaviri.
Hukama Alfabheti inopa mavara tsananguro zvichibva pane izvo munyori anofunga kuti zvinomiririra muhukama, senge enisaikoropidhiya yerudo, pane se.
Munyori akatanga mavara ake aine A kumira kwekupokana, B kwekupandukira, C kweKushora nekushoropodza, nezvimwe.
Ichokwadi kune chimiro chayo, bhuku iri gwara rinobatsira kubatsira vakaroora kushanda pane nitty-gritty yehukama. Pakati peye 'nhungamiro inoshanda' yakapihwa kuratidza kuonga kune mumwe wako.
Chinhu mukutenda kana iwe uri kutsvaga hukama hunofadza
Duramazwi rinotsanangura kuonga se "hunhu hwekuonga; kugadzirira kuratidza kuonga uye kudzorera mutsa. ” Brittle uye hwakawanda hukama masayendisiti anoona kuonga sechinhu chakakosha kuita kuti hukama hugare, uye isu pachedu, tifare.
Kupa kutenda kune bhenefiti yakakurisa pahupenyu hwedu hwese. Haunditendi here? Rega ndikubvunze kuti ufunge nezvenguva yawakapa mumwe munhu chipo chidiki. Funga nezve manzwiro awakaita pavakati 'Maita basa' mushure mekugamuchira iyo chipo. Izvo hazvina kunzwa zvakanaka here?
Zvino, funga nezve iyo nguva yaunogamuchira diki chipo. Funga nezve manzwiro awakaita iwe pawakagamuchira iyo chipo. Hauna kumanikidzwa kuti uti 'Maita basa'?
Kana iwe ukapindura hombe 'hongu' kune vese, ndinofunga ndicho chiratidzo chekuti nekuti 'maita basa' kana kugamuchira 'maita basa,' tinowana manzwiro akanaka patinoona rutendo.
Zvimwe zvakanaka zvekuratidzira nekusangana nekutenda zvinosanganisira:
- Kuwedzera mufaro uye tariro
- Kuwedzera kusimba
- Kuwedzera kuzviremekedza
- Kupera kwekushushikana
- Yakaderedzwa njodzi yekuora mwoyo
Ngatidzokerei kumashure zvishoma uye tizviise izvi mumamiriro ehukama hwedu hwepabonde.
Kutaura kuti 'maita basa' kunosimbisa kudyidzana kwedu newatakaroorana naye. Kutaura kuti 'maita basa' kutaura kuti 'Ndiri kuona zvakanaka mauri.' Kutaura kuti 'maita basa' ndeye 'Ndinokuda' wakaputirwa nerutendo.
Iko hakuna chikonzero nei G isingafanirwe kumirira Kutenda muRukama Alfabheti!
Kuputsa kubva panzira yeiyo egoism
Nenzira yekuonga, tiri kutungamirwa kuti tiite chimwe chezvinhu zvakakosha muhukama. Buda munzira ye egoism. Nenzira yekutenda, isu tinobva taziva kuti tiri kutambira zvinotevera zvipo kubva kuhukama hwedu: rudo, hanya, tsitsi.
Iwe unogona here kufungidzira uchigara munyika umo kuonga ndiko kukosha kwehuwandu hwevanhu? Utopia.
Unogona here kufungidzira uri muhukama hunokoshesa rutendo? Kana zvakakuomera iwe kufungidzira, sei usingatange kuzviitira iwe pachako?
Tora nguva yekutenda mumwe wako, uye uzviite mazuva ese. Haufanire kufunga ipapo nezve zvinhu zvakakura kana zvipo zvekushandisa - pamwe unogona kutanga nebasa ravakaita, kunyangwe iwe usina kuvabvunza.
‘Maita basa nekusuka ndiro nezuro manheru. Ndinozvifarira chaizvo. '
Pfeka magirazi ekutenda kuti uone mumwe wako zviri nani
Izvo zvinhu zvidiki zvinoverengeka muhukama, asi, kuti isu tione zvinhu zvidiki izvi, isu tinofanirwa kupfeka magirazi ekutenda kutibatsira kuti tione zvirinani. Kukosheswa kunobatsira mukuwedzera kuzvikoshesa kwedu uye kukosha semunhu.
Chakavanzika chekuti nei kuonga kuchishanda muhukama chiri muchokwadi chekuti iwe unokoshesa mumwe wako semunhu anokosha. Kuti unovakoshesa zvechokwadi uyezve, kuti hukama hwakakosha zvakaenzana.
Nemanzwiro ese akanaka akabatanidzwa, isu tinonyanya kumanikidzwa kubatirira pahukama, kupa zvakawanda muhukama, kushanda zvakanyanya pakuita kuti hukama hurambe huripo. Kungoti mumwe wako anonzwa kutendwa neese 'maita'.
Brittle akatoseka kuti kana vakaroorana vaidzidzira kutaura aya mazwi maviri, hukama hwakawanda hwevarapi hwaizobviswa mubhizinesi.
Kutenda kunotipa magirazi akakosha anotibatsira kuona murume kana mukadzi padanho idzva reruzivo.
Kuonga kuchachinja hukama hwako newawakaroorana naye
Nekubatsira kwekutenda, hunhu hwavo hwakanakisa hwakavhenekerwa. Kuonga kunobatsira kukuyeuchidzai mose kuti sei masarudza mumwe nemumwe.
Tanga nekutenda wawakaroorana naye nekusuka ndiro, uye ona kuti kutenda kuchachinja sei hukama hwako newawakaroorana naye. Zvinogona kunge zvisiri shanduko nekukurumidza, asi nekufamba kwenguva, zvidzidzo zvakavimbisa hukama hunogutsa kune vakaroorana vanoita rutendo.
Hukama Alfabheti yaZach Brittle inomanikidza kuunganidzwa kwemaonero pahukama uye inzvimbo yakanaka yekutanga kana iwe uchida kuunza yakawanda tarisiro pakushanda pahukama hwako. Inonyatsomira neshoko rayo rekuva gwara rinoshanda rekubatanidza zvirinani nemumwe wako.