Zvemukati
Kambani yemumwe,
boka revanhu,
uye vatatu pati. ”
- Andy Warhol
Hukama nyaya. Uye ivo vanotora basa.
Uye ivo vanofanirwa kuve vanonakidza uye kutamba kuti vave vanovaka, vanopa mubairo uye vanozvisimbisa. Ndiko kushuva kwedu kwakadzama uye kutya kwedu kunotyisa kwazvo, nzvimbo yedu yekuwana chikafu, rubatsiro nerunyararo, uye zvakafanana nekunyara, kushushikana uye kunyara.
Ukama hwepedyo hwevanhu vaviri husina kugadzikana. Kana kushushikana kwepfungwa kukatyisidzira, munhu wechitatu anotsvagwa kuti abatsire kudzikamisa kushushikana.
Guerin & Fogarty vakanyora.
"Kubva pamaonero aya, tinogona kuona hupenyu kwete hwakawanda senzira dzinofanira kusarudzwa, asi senzvimbo yemakona mativi nematombo kuti utenderedzwe."
Iyi yevatatu-yakabatana hukama hwehukama, hwetatu kwete hutatu, inoshanda kudzikisira kushushikana panguva imwechete ichivimbisa kuti matambudziko ehukama akakosha haazombogadziriswa.Iko kupfupika-kwenguva pfupi kwekurwadziwa kwenguva refu. Zvakatoipisisa, mativi matatu anowedzera kuwedzera kusagadzikana kwepfungwa ne:
- Kukurudzira kukura kwezviratidzo mune mumwe munhu - iro divi rakaipa rekatatu ikungori chiratidzo chechiratidzo chedambudziko remhuri.
- Kuchengetedza hukama hwehukama
- Kuvhara kana kudzivirira kugadzirisa kwezvinhu zvine chepfu kana zvinopesana
- Kuvhara kweanoshanduka shanduko yehukama nekufamba kwenguva
- Kugadzira uye nekuenderera mberi kwekurapa impires
- Kubvisa mhuri sarudzo dzekugadzirisa matambudziko
Izvo zvinobatsira kufunga nezvezvipingamupinyi zvevamwe sekuva nehukama hwehukama, basa uye maitiro emanzwiro.
Maumbirwo ehukama hwehukama hune maviri mukati, akasunganidzwa uye akanyatso kuvharika, uye mumwe ari kunze uyo ari kure kure nemweya uye akasundikana.
Iko kushanda kwehukama hwehukama kuita ku gadzira kugadzikana na:
1. Kutarisa pane chimwe chinhu chekunze kuitira kuti vaviri ava vagadzirise kusawirirana kwavo.
2. Izvi zvinobva zvabatsira pakubvisa kukakavadzana pakati pavo pasina shanduko huru.
Maitiro emanzwiro ehukama hwehukama ane kufamba kwesisitimu yekushushikana kusingaperi semibatanidzwa inoshanduka uye inochinja nekufamba kwenguva.
Kuvapo kwese kwematatu mumatanho ehukama hwese ndeimwe yeasere akakosha ekupindira mazano e Bowen Mhuri Systems Dzidziso (BFST).
"Iyo [katatu] inoonekwa sechivako kana" mamorekuru "ehurongwa hwakakura hwemanzwiro nekuti katatu ndiyo diki hukama hwakadzikama hwehukama. Sangano revanhu vaviri harina kugadzikana nekuti rinoregerera kusagadzikana kusati kwabatanidza munhu wechitatu. Triangle inogona kuva nemakakatanwa akawanda pasina kubatanidza mumwe munhu nekuti mhirizhonga inogona kutenderera yakatenderedza hukama hutatu. Kana kukakavara kwakanyanyisa kukona kuti katatu imwe chete igare, inopararira kune akateedzana "akabatana". "
Zvino ko kana iye 'wechitatu' asiriye munhu asi chinhu?
Chinyorwa chaChikunguru / Nyamavhuvhu 2016 che Psychology Nhasi chinopa njodzi dzezana ramakumi maviri nemasere 'ménage à trois', zviitiko zvedu zviri kwese kwese nehunyanzvi. Tiine kumeso kwedu mufoni kana piritsi kana smart watch kana laptop, tingavapo sei chaizvo kune mumwe wedu?
Sherry Turkle anonyora bhuku rake razvino pakomputa tsika "Nei Tichitarisira Zvizhinji Kubva kuTekinoroji uye Zvishoma Kubva Kune Mumwe Neumwe". Iye anoratidzira kuti tekinoroji inogadzira "zvinotsiva izvo zvinoisa chaiyo pakumhanya". KuLOL, OMG uye kune vamwe isu tinogona ikozvino kuwedzera IRL zvichireva kuti "MuHupenyu Chaiwo" sechimwe chinhu chiri munyika chaicho kusiyana nekutaurirana uye kudyidzana pamhepo kana mune yekunyepedzera mamiriro.
Kana tichiita "hurukuro" nevanhu vanogona kunge vasipo, uye kana tichi "taura" nezvigumwe zvedu kwete izwi redu, kana munhu ari patafura achiona kumashure kwe iPhone yedu kana akatarisana pasi akabatana nescreen yavo, zvakadii kugovana kwechokwadi uye kudanana kwepamoyo kunogona kuvepo?
Ini ndanga ndichirondedzera nyaya kamwechete nezve mufaro wangu pakuva nemaawa matanhatu ekusavhiringidzwa kumeso nguva nehama yepedyo uye mhinduro yaive "iwe waireva pane yako iPhone?" Fembera ndaifanira kunge ndakawedzera IRL.
Saka enda kune mumwe wako pane kutendeuka. Uye yeuchidza munhu wese, zvakanyanya kukosha iwe, kuti nekuda kwechimwe chikonzero chisingazivikanwe uye chisina kujairika, zvemagetsi hazvishande mukamuri rako rekurara.
Isu tese tinonetsekana nekuenzanisa kusanzwisisika kwepamoyo uye chinhambwe. Nekudaro isu tese tinogona kubatsirwa kubva kuhukama hwekudzidzisa uye kubvunza. Saka "kana zviri chimwe 'chisinganzwisisike' hachitaridzika zvakanaka, ndiani achazodaidza?" Uye kana iwe usina Proton Pack ye bustin, 'funga kubvunza neakadzidziswa Bowen Family Systems Theory Coach uye Relationship Consultant uyo "asingatye kana chipoko chemhuri."
Rakanakira rombo rakanaka parwendo rwako rwekufumuka rweupenyu hwese.