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Zvemukati
“Mhuri dzinofara dzose dzakafanana; mhuri yega yega isingafare nenzira yayo. ” Saka inotanga bhuku raLeo Tolstoy rekare, Anna Karenina. Tolstoy haana kutsanangura kuti mhuri dzakafara zvakafanana, saka ndafunga kumuitira iye, zvichibva pakutsvaga kwangu senge psychoanalyst.
Heanoiwo maitiro angu mashanu anofara vakaroorana vanogovana. Zviripachena, kuti uve nehunhu uhu, nhengo mbiri dzevaviri vacho dzinofanirwa kuve noutano hwakanaka.
1. Zvakanaka communication
Vakaroorana vanofara vanotaura. Ivo vanotaura manzwiro avo pachinzvimbo chekuzviita. Havarevi nhema, havanyengeri, vanobiridzira, vanopomera, vanorovana, vanoregedzana, vanotaurirana pamusoro pemusana, vanozvidzikamisa, vanopa runyararo, rwendo rwemhosva, kukanganwa zuva ravo rekuyeuka, kupopotedzana , kudana nemazita, kuitirana madhimoni, kana kuita mamwe marudzi akasiyana ekuita zvinoitwa nevaroorani vasina mufaro.
Pane kudaro, kana vaine dambudziko vanotaura nezvazvo. Ivo vane chivimbo chekutanga uye kuzvipira kunovatendera kuti vazviite ivo pachavo vanotambura nekugovana kwavo kurwadziwa uye nekuziva iwo marwadzo acho achagamuchirwa netsitsi. Kutaurirana kwevakaroora vasina mufaro kunoitirwa kushandisa. Kutaurirana kwevakaroora vanofara vane chinangwa chekugadzirisa kusawirirana uye kumisikidza kuswedera padhuze nehukama. Vakaroorana vanofara havana hanya nezvekuti ndiani akarurama kana kuti zvakaipa, sezvo vachizvitora semunhu mumwechete, uye chakakosha kwavari ndechekuti hukama hwavo hwakarurama.
2. Kuzvipira
Vakaroorana vanofara vanozvipira kune mumwe nemumwe. Kana vakaroora, vanotora mhiko dzavo dzewanano zvakakomba uye vese vakazvipira zvakaenzana kune mumwe nemumwe pasina chero ifs, buts, uye howevers. Kunyangwe ivo vakaroora kana vasina, vane kuzvipira kwakasimba kusingatombo nyungudika zvakanyanya. Ndiko kuzvipira kusingazungunuke kunounza kugadzikana muhukama uye kunopa nhengo mbiri simba rekugadzirisa nekusimudza chero hukama hupi zvahwo hunopfuura.
Kuzvipira iglue inosimbisa hukama. Chero dambudziko rauri kusangana nemumwe wako, iwe uripo. Pachave pasina kutonga, pasina mhosva, hapana kutyisidzirwa kwekusiya kana kurambana. Zvinhu zvakadai hazvinzwisisike. Kuzvipira kwacho kuripo senheyo yenguva dzose, yakasimba iyo inochengetedza hukama hwacho munzira.
3. Kugamuchirwa
Vakaroorana vanofara vanogamuchira mumwe kune zvavari. Hapana akakwana uye vazhinji vedu vari kure nekukwana. Vakaroorana vanofara vanotambira kusakwana kweumwe neumwe nekuti ivo vanokwanisa kugamuchira kwavo kusakwana. Ichi kiyi: kuti ugamuchire vamwe sezvavari iwe unofanirwa kuzvigamuchira iwe sezvauri. Nekudaro kana mumwe wako achiwanzo kunetseka, kuridza ngonono, kudzikama, kutaura, kunyanya, kutaura zvishoma, kana kuda bonde zvakanyanya, unobvuma zvinhu zvakadai sediosyncrasies, kwete zvikanganiso.
Vakaroorana vasina mufaro vanofunga kuti vanozvigamuchira pachavo sezvavari, asi kazhinji vanenge vachiramba. Vanogona kuona kabanzu kari muziso remumwe wavo, asi kwete danda ravo pachavo. Nekuti ivo vanoramba zvavo kukanganisa, ivo dzimwe nguva vanozviratidza kune vamwe vavo. "Handisini ndiri kukonzera matambudziko, ndiwe!" Kunyanya pavano ramba zvavanokanganisa, ndipo pavanonyanya kusashivirira pakukanganisa kwevamwe vavo. Vakaroorana vanofara vanoziva zvavanokanganisa uye vari kuvaregerera; nekudaro ivo vari kukanganwira uye kubvuma kukanganisa kwevamwe vavo. Izvi zvinotungamira kuhukama hunoremekedzana.
4. Kushuva
Vakaroorana vanofara vane rudo kune mumwe nemumwe. Hukama hwavo ndicho chakanyanya kukosha muhupenyu hwavo. Kuda zvepabonde chinhu chinogona kuuya nekuenda, asi kuda kune mumwe nemumwe uye kwehukama hwavo kunogara kuripo. Vazhinji vakaroorana vanotanga nechishuwo panguva yavo yemuchato, asi mhando iyi yekuda inodzikira kumwe munzira. Kudanana uye kudanana kweumwe neumwe, sekuda kwechido, ndicho chinhu chinotsungirira kupfuura nguva yehusiku.
Passion ndiyo inopa hukama simba rayo. Kuzvipira pasina kuda kunotungamira kuhukama husina chinhu. Kuzvipira pamwe nechido kunoita hukama hwakazadzikiswa. Kushushikana kunowedzerwa nekutaurirana kwakanaka. Kana murume nemukadzi vachigovana nekutendeseka uye vachigadzirisa kusawirirana, kuswedera pamwe nechido zvinoramba zvichingogara. Kushuvira kunochengetedza hukama hune chinangwa uye huri hupenyu.
5. Rudo
Zvinopera pasina kutaura kuti vaviri vanofara vaviri vane rudo. Izvi hazvireve kuti vaviri vacho vari kudanana. Kudonha murudo kazhinji kazhinji kune zvisina hutano pane chinhu chine hutano. Shakespeare akadana kuwira murudo chimiro chemwedzi. Icho chirevo, chakanangana nezvinodiwa narcissistic, izvo zvisingagare. Rudo rune hutano chinhu chinoitika pamwe chete nehunhu hwakanyorwa pamusoro: kutaurirana kwakanaka, kuzvipira, kugamuchirwa uye kuda.
Yedu yekutanga chiitiko cherudo iri muhukama hwedu naamai vedu. Kuvimba uye kuchengetedzeka kwaanotiita kuti tinzwe rudo. Rudo haruendeswe kuburikidza nemazwi, asi kuburikidza nekuita. Nenzira imwecheteyo, patinoona kuvimba nekuchengetedzeka nemumwe wedu muhupenyu kwenguva yakareba, tinoona rudo rusingaperi. Rusingaperi rudo ndirwo rudo rwunoita kuti hupenyu hukoshe kurarama.