Zvemukati
- 1. Kutanga, yeuka wawakaroora
- 2. Chechipiri, iva nemutsa uye unyatsoremekedza mumwe wako
- 3. Tevere, tarisa kumeso
- 4. Chekupedzisira, kana iwe ita tanga kutaura zvakare, tarisira imwe mvura ine hukasha
Jason anoshanda nesimba anoshanda nekutengesa zvivakwa mukati memakore makumi mana. Kwemakore, mukadzi wake akavimbika Tabitha akatsigira Jason apo aivaka femu yake, uye achangobva kusiya basa rake kuti atarise kubereka nekugadzira imba. Ino inofanirwa kuve nguva inonakidza muwanano yavo, asi Jason anowanzo shanda akanonoka, uye paanosvika kumba, Tabitha ari kumwe kunhu: parunhare, achitarisana nemuvakidzani anorwara, achivatisa vana vavo vekupasa giredhi kurara. Ari kwese kwaanodiwa asi hapana nzvimbo uko Jason ari.
Pakanga paine nguva, pakutanga kwekuroora, apo Jason naTabitha vakapopotedzana nehasha nezvemaawa marefu aJason ekushanda. Tabitha aiuya kumba agadzira kudya kwemanheru, uye Jason paakasvika, maawa gare gare, akashungurudzika Tabitha aimurova nekumupomera nezve kwaanga ari. Jason aigona kukwidza kukakavadzana nekutsamwa kwake kwega kwekumukomberedza paakange aneta. Mumwe nemumwe wavo, akakundwa nekushushikana uye kuora mwoyo, akarega kuedza kugadzirisa matambudziko. Vadiwa vavo vakatonhora kuita runyararo. Vakataridzika zvakanaka, vakati vaive zvakanaka, nekuti zvaive zvisina basa kutaura chero chinhu.
Jason anodada kwazvo kuti abvume kuti akakuvara nekusatombomutarisa, saka anotarisisa pabasa rake uye anorega kusurukirwa kwake. Kuedza kwaTabitha kwekusvikira kwakakanganiswa, saka anozvibvisa uye anovaka hupenyu hwake hwakasiyana. John Gottman mubhuku rake, Nheyo nomwe dzekuita Kuroora Kushanda, vanogona kutsanangura vaviri ava sevasina kushushikana mupfungwa. Saka vakaora moyo nekusakwanisa kwavo kugadzirisa matambudziko, vakasiya uye vadzokera muhupenyu hwakafanana. Jason naTabitha, mune yavo inotonhora truce, vanogona kunge vari munyatwa yakawanda kupfuura muchato nekunyanyisa kurwa, nekuti vaviri vacho vanokakavara vanogona kunge vachine chivimbo chavanogona kupedza kuburikidza nezvinetso. Chii chinobatsira vaviri vacho kuti varwe zvinogona kusabatsira vaviri vanotonhora vehondo vakaita saJason naTabitha. Saka chii chingave?
Aya matanho mana anogona kupa diki-munzira yekubatana
1. Kutanga, yeuka wawakaroora
Tabitha anogona kufunga nezvaJason, kwete semunhu wavasingazivi asi semunhu waaida. Anogona kurangarira Jason uyo maziso ake aive akapenya nekufarira uye kumuda kwake. Chii chakakuswededza kumudiwa wako? Kwaiva kuseka here? Kudzika kwehunhu? Kuvimba kwakadzika? Paunenge iwe uchayeuka iye munhu, iwe unogona kudziya uye kufamba zvakasununguka kune wako waunoda.
2. Chechipiri, iva nemutsa uye unyatsoremekedza mumwe wako
Sezvauri kuna barista, munhu waunobatira uvhure musuwo. Iva nerupo. Charity inowanzo fungidzirwa se rupo kune varombo, sechinhu chinopihwa pachena kune uyo ari kutambura. Funga nezvekupa kune wawakaroorana naye kunyanya kufunga uye kunyatsoteerera. Nenzira iyi, iwe unobatsira mumwe wako kurangarira iwe.
Uyezve tarisa: Chii chinonzi Hukama Kurwisana?
3. Tevere, tarisa kumeso
Nyatsoona mudiwa wako. Kwazisa munhu nemaziso ako kana nekwaziso kadiki paanopinda mumba. Tabitha anogona kuyeuka rudo rwakadzika rwunogutsa mukati make: eroottinen, yenyama, yekunamata, mhando inoyerera ichibva mumaziso ake kunge rwizi kunosangana netsime risina chinhu rekusuwa kwake.
4. Chekupedzisira, kana iwe ita tanga kutaura zvakare, tarisira imwe mvura ine hukasha
Dhamu remifungo isina kutaurwa uye manzwiro anogona kuvhurika, uye kana zvikadaro, teerera uye utore zvichemo uye zvikumbiro zvemumwe wako zvakanyanya. Gamuchira mweya wakasununguka uye wakasununguka. Ino haisi nguva yekuzvidzivirira. Dr. Gottman vakurudzira kuti varume, kunyanya, vanogona kubatsirwa nekutora mutoro wezvichemo zvemukadzi wavo. Vhura; usapopotedzana; gamuchira chikamu chako mudambudziko. Jason akarerutsa zvichemo zvaTabitha pamusoro pake achishanda Mugovera. Kunyangwe iye asisataure akasununguka, anokwanisa kuona kushungurudzika kwake. Anokwanisa kusimbisa kutambudzika kwake uye kubvuma, kunyanya kwaari, kuti anogona kuita zvirinani pane zvaakaita.
Kuputsa kushushikana kwekusabatika mupfungwa uye kuvhura hurukuro, ungangoda rubatsiro rwevaviri varapi. Paunenge uchizvifunga, zvidzore iwe udzoke kune hushamwari. Rangarira munhu wawakaroora, tarisa kumeso, utaure mazwi emutsa, unonoka padyo, uye teerera uye utore mutoro wechikamu chako mukunyunyuta kweumwe wako.