Zvemukati
- 7 Zvikonzero Nei asiri kuda kuroora futi
- 1. Havana kuona zvakanakira kuroorazve
- 2. Vanotya kurambana
- 3. Havagoni kutsigira mhuri itsva
- 4. Havasati vapora kubva pahukama hwapfuura
- 5. Vanotya kurasikirwa nerusununguko
- 6. Vanotenda kuti muchato waizokanganisa rudo
- 7. Manzwiro avo kumudiwa mutsva haana kunyatsokwana
- Chii chinoita kuti murume akarambana nemurume ade kuroorazve?
- Tora woenda nazvo
Nharaunda uye Q & A mawebhusaiti azere nemameseji senge "mukomana wangu anoti haatombodi kuroora - ndoita sei?" Panogona kuve netsananguro dzinoverengeka zvinoenderana nemamiriro ezvinhu. Imwe yacho ndiyo yatovepo chiitiko chewanano uye kurambana.
Mukomana akarambana ane imwe nzira yekutarisa zvinhu kupfuura avo vasina kumbobvira varoora. Saka chikonzero chekuti haadi kuzoroora zvakare chiratidzo chekufungidzira kana aizochinja pfungwa mune ramangwana.
7 Zvikonzero Nei asiri kuda kuroora futi
Sei vakomana vasingade kuroora zvakare mushure mekurambwa kana kupatsanurwa?
Ngationgororei mashoma eanowanzoitika nharo anoshandiswa nevarume vakarambana kuti vagare kure nemuchato kana nei vachifunga kusazoroora zvakare.
1. Havana kuona zvakanakira kuroorazve
Pamwe, kubva pane zvine musoro maonero, roorano haina musoro mazuva ano kwavari. Uye varume havasi ivo voga vane mafungiro aya. Vakadzi vazhinji vanozvigovanawo. Chimwe chinoratidza izvi kudzikira kudiki kune vakaroora mumakore apfuura.
Chidzidzo che2019 chakaitwa naPew Research chakaratidza kuti huwandu hwevakaroora hwakadzikira ne8% kubva muna1990 kusvika 2017. Kudonha hakuna kunyanya asi kunoonekwa zvakadaro.
Haadi kuzoroora futi nekuti havazi vese varume vanoona kuti muchato wechipiri ungavabatsira sei, uye ndicho chikonzero chikuru nei varume vasingadi kuroora futi. Maitiro avo ekufunga zvine musoro anovaita kuti vayere zvese zvakanaka nezvakaipa zvewanano, uye chete mushure meizvozvo, ivo vanosarudza yakanakisa sarudzo.
Saka zvakanyanya kutadza zvinoonekwa nemukomana, kashoma paanoda kuroora.
Ngatitarisei mamiriro acho kubva pane murume akarambana. Akatovevira kuravira kusakwana uye kuderera kwemuchato uye zvino ave kuda kunakidzwa nerusununguko rwake rwuchangowanikwa. Kusunga pfundo kwaizoreva kurasikirwa kana kuzvimisazve patsva zvakare.
Nei mukomana achirega rusununguko rwake kana achigona kuwana rudo, bonde, kutsigirwa nemanzwiro, uye nezvimwe zvese zvinopihwa nemukadzi pasina mhedzisiro?
Mumazuva apfuura, vanhu vaviri vakanzwa vachisungirwa kubatana nekuda kwezvikonzero zvemari kana zvechitendero. Nekudaro, izvozvi kudiwa kwewanano hakuratidzwe nemagariro uye zvakanyanya nezvinodiwa zvepfungwa.
Muchidzidzo chakambotaurwa, 88% yevaAmerica vakadana rudo sechikonzero chikuru chewanano. Nokuenzanisa, kudzikama kwemari kunoita chete 28% yevaAmerican vanoda kugadzirisa hukama. Saka hongu, kuchine tariro kune avo vanotenda murudo.
2. Vanotya kurambana
Kurambana kunowanzo shata. Avo vakapfuura napo kamwe vanotya kuzotarisana nazvo zvakare. Haadi kuroora zvakare nekuti varume vanogona kutenda kuti mutemo wemhuri wakarerekera uye unopa vakadzi simba rekutumira varume vavo vekare kune vanochenesa.
Zvino, hatizotsanangure pamusoro pekukanganisa kusaenzana kwevanhukadzi mumatare emutemo emhuri sezvo isiri iyo chikamu chechinyorwa chino. Asi kutaura chokwadi, varume vazhinji vanopedzisira vaine zvikwereti zvemari uye vanofanirwa kubvisa bhajeti ravo remwedzi kutumira mari dzekubhadhara kune avo vaimbova vakadzi.
Uye ngatirege kukanganwa nezvekushushikana kwepamoyo avo varombo vamwe vanhu vakatambura.
Saka ndiani angavape mhosva kana vasina kuzoroora futi?
Rombo rakanaka kuvakadzi, havasi vese varume vakarambana havachadi kuroora. Muna 2021, U.S. Census Bureau yakaburitsa mushumo waisanganisira varume vakarambana uye nhamba dzekuroorazve. 18.8% yevarume vakaroorwa kaviri kubva muna 2016. Imba yechitatu yakange isina kujairika - chete 5.5%.
Varume vanovamba mhuri kechipiri kana kechitatu vanoziva nezvazvo. Vazhinji vavo vanoedza kudzidza kubva mukukanganisa kwavo uye vanosvika kune hukama hutsva nehungwaru hwakawanda.
3. Havagoni kutsigira mhuri itsva
Vamwe varume havazoroorwazve mushure mekurambana nekuda kwemari nyaya dzakasiiwa kubva kumuchato wekutanga. Zvii izvo?
Chekutanga pane zvese, kutsigira kana kutsigira murume / mukadzi. Huwandu hwayo hunogona kuve mutoro unorema, kunyanya kana paine zvakare rutsigiro rwevana. Varume vane zvisungo izvi vanowanzoverengera kupinda muhukama hutsva hwakakomba nekuti havagone kutsigira nemari mukadzi mutsva uye pamwe nevana vatsva.
Haadi kuroora futi nekuti ane hanya nedivi remari. Chiratidzo chakanaka. Hapana chakarasika parizvino, uye iwe unogona kutarisira kuti achinje pfungwa dzake.
Mushure mezvose, kuriritira uye kutsigira kwemwana ndekwenguva pfupi. Nguva yekutsigirwa kwevakaroora hafu yenguva iyo vaviri vakagara pamwe mumatunhu mazhinji.
Uye rutsigiro rwemwana runopera kana mwana ave zera. Izvo hazvireve kuti mukomana anofanira kumirira kwemakore mashanu kana anopfuura kuti ataure. Kana iye achida kugadzira yemhando kudyidzana nemunhu mutsva, achatsvaga nzira yekugadzirisa matambudziko emari pakutanga.
4. Havasati vapora kubva pahukama hwapfuura
Mumatanho ekutanga, murume akarambana anonzwa kushungurudzika zvakanyanya kufunga nezvekutanga mhuri nyowani. Kazhinji, hukama hwekutanga mushure mekurambana inzira yekugadzirisa marwadzo uye kupora. Pakadai, manzwiro emurume kumukadzi mutsva anowanzo kuve echinguvana uye anopera paanodzokera pane zvakajairwa.
Vamwe varume vakatendeseka nezvedanho iri uye vachataura ipapo ipapo kuti ivo havasi kutsvaga wekugara naye panguva ino. Zvisinei, vamwe havana chokwadi zvakadaro. Ivo vanokwanisa kushongedza zvishoma mamiriro acho uye zvinangwa zvavo kune mumwe mudiwa uye vototaura zvirongwa zvavo zvekuroora zvakare.
Zvisinei, hazvitore hukama hwehukama kuti unzwisise manzwiro evanhu vasina kugadzikana pavanonzwa kurambana uye kuti vanoda nguva yekuziva zvekuita zvinotevera. Iko kushuvira kufunga kutarisira chero sarudzo dzakangwara panguva ino, kunyanya zvine chekuita nemuchato.
Ndichiri kufunga zvekuroora murume akarambwa, zvakanakisisa zvingaitwe nemukadzi kupa mumwe wake nguva yekudzosera zvidimbu zvehupenyu hwake pamwe nekuona kuti zvinofamba sei. Kana iye achiri asingade mhuri nyowani mushure menguva yekudzoreredza, anogona kunge achireva.
Zviri kumukadzi kuti asarudze kana achigona kugara neizvozvo kana kana achida zvimwe.
Tarisa uone vhidhiyo iyi naAlan Robarge nezve kupora kubva kuhukama hwepakutanga uye kuti ingakonzera sei kusagadzikana hukama hweramangwana kana husina kurapwa.
5. Vanotya kurasikirwa nerusununguko
Varume vane chishuwo chemukati chekusununguka uye vanotya kuti mumwe munhu angavadzivisa murusununguko rwavo. Uku kutya kunotamba chikamu chakakura chekuti sei vakomana vasingade kuroora kekutanga, ndoda yechipiri kana yechitatu.
Kana ivo vari kufunga zvekuroora zvakare mushure mekurambana, vanogona kuita yakatonyanya pragmatic nzira kune hukama. Pragmatist mumwe munhu ane maitiro anoshanda kuhupenyu, pane kudanana.
Varume ava vanotanga kuongorora hukama kubva pane zvine musoro maonero. Semuenzaniso, kana mvumo yekuita chero chavanoda isiri chikamu chechibvumirano, vangangodaro vasingaide zvachose.
"Kuburikidza nekuroora, mukadzi anosununguka, asi murume anorasikirwa nerusununguko," akanyora muzivi weGerman Immanuel Kant muLectures on Anthropology muzana ramakore rechi18. Akatenda kuti varume havagone kuita chero chavanoda mushure memuchato uye vaifanirwa kutevedzera mararamiro evakadzi vavo.
Zvinonakidza kuti nguva dzinochinja sei, asi vanhu nemaitiro avo anogara akafanana.
6. Vanotenda kuti muchato waizokanganisa rudo
Kurambana hakuitike nezuva rimwe chete. Maitiro akareba anosanganisira kushungurudzika mupfungwa, kusahadzika, kusawirirana, nezvimwe zvinhu zvakawanda zvisingafadzi. Asi zvakauya sei kune izvi? Zvese zvinhu zvaive zvakajeka pakutanga, uye ipapo nekukasira, vaviri vacho kamwechete zvakanyanya murudo vanova vatorwa zvachose.
Kuroora kunogona kuuraya here rudo uye kukanganisa rugare?
Zvinonzwika kunge zvakanyanyisa, asi ndizvo zvinotendwa nevamwe vanhu. Varume havadi muchato kuparadza idyllic hukama hwavainahwo ikozvino. Uyezve, vakomana vazhinji vanotya kuti mumwe wavo achachinja, zvese pahunhu uye nechitarisiko.
Muchokwadi, muchato hauite chero chikamu mukutadza kwehukama. Izvo zvese nezve zvinotarisirwa zvepakutanga uye kuedza kunoitwa nevakaroora kusimbisa zvisungo zvavo. Hukama hwese hunoda basa nekuzvipira. Tikasapedza nguva yakakwana tichivarera, vanozopera kunge maruva asina mvura.
7. Manzwiro avo kumudiwa mutsva haana kunyatsokwana
Humwe hukama hwakatemerwa kugara pachivara chimwe pasina kufambira mberi kuenda padanho nyowani. Haisi chinhu chakaipa kana vaviri vakaroorana vakabvumirana. Asi kana murume akati haatendi muwanano uye mumwe wake achida kuvaka mhuri, rinova dambudziko.
Murume anogona kunakidzwa nekupedza nguva nemusikana mutsva, asi manzwiro ake pamusoro pake haana kudzika zvakakwana kuti ataure. Nekudaro, kana akati haadi kuroora zvakare, anogona kureva kuti haadi musikana wake wazvino kuti ave mukadzi wake.
Hukama hwakadai hunongogara chete kusvikira mumwe wevabatsiri awana sarudzo iri nani.
Zviratidzo zvekuti murume haazomboroorwazve mushure mekurambana inyaya yeimwe hurukuro refu. Iye haadi kuroora zvakare kana ane vavariro dzekuroora kana akangwara nezvehupenyu hwake, anochengeta chinhambwe, uye asingaunze musikana wake kushamwari uye mhuri.
Chii chinoita kuti murume akarambana nemurume ade kuroorazve?
Pakupedzisira, vamwe varume vanogona kushandura pfungwa dzavo uye vafunge kugadzira mhuri nyowani. Chikonzero chekutanga muchato unogona kuve sarudzo inokwezva zvakare kukosha kwayo kwepamusoro zvichienzaniswa nezvinotadzisa.
Varume vakasiyana vane nzira dzakasiyana dzekuroorazve. Semuenzaniso, vamwe vanotaura nekukurumidza, asi vamwe vanoyera zvese zvakanaka nezvakaipa kutanga. Asi kazhinji, manzwiro akasimba senge rudo uye kushuvira anogona kukunda zvakakanganisika zvinofungidzirwa zvewanano, kusanganisira nyaya dzemari nedzimba.
Zvimwe zvikonzero zvinoita kuti murume ataure zvinosanganisira:
- chishuwo chemamiriro epamba asinganetseke anogona kupihwa nemukadzi
- kutya kusurukirwa
- chishuwo chekufadza mudiwa wavo wazvino
- kutsiva kune aimbova mukadzi wavo
- kutya kurasikirwa nemumwe wavo kune mumwe munhu
- kushuvira rutsigiro rwepfungwa, nezvimwe.
Edza zvakare: Unotya Kuroorwa Mushure mekurambana
Tora woenda nazvo
Kana zvasvika kune varume vakarambana uye kuroorazve, yeuka kuti havazi vese varume vanogona kuroorazve ipapo mushure mekurambana. Ngatirege kukanganwa kuti mamwe matunhu (Kansas, Wisconsin, nezvimwewo) vane nguva yekumirira zviri pamutemo kuti munhu akarambana aroore zvakare.
Saka, munhu angaroorazve rini mushure mekurambana? Mhinduro yacho inoenderana nemitemo yenyika yakati. Zvichida, munhu anokwanisa kuroorazve mumazuva makumi matatu kusvika kumwedzi mitanhatu mushure memutongo wekupedzisira.