Jo Nicholl iRelationship Coach uye Psychotherapist anga achishanda nevanhu uye nevakaroora kweanopfuura makore makumi maviri nemashanu uye achivabatsira kugadzira imba inofara kana hukama hwavari kutsvaga.
Heano mashoma ezvinyorwa kubva kubvunzurudzo yake neMarriage.com, kwaanoratidza kwaari 'Ida Mepu Podcast' dzakateerana uye dzinopa zvakakosha pakurapa marapiro anobatsira vanhu mukudzidza kugadzirisa gakava uye hunyanzvi hwekutaurirana kuti vawane hupenyu hwerudo hwavanoda uye zvakare kugadzira wanano inofadza.
- Marriage.com: Nderipi zano raive kumashure kweRudo Mepu podcast dzakateedzana?
Jo: Pfungwa iri shure kweRudo Mepu podcast ndeyekupa hunyanzvi hwehukama uye pfungwa dzepfungwa dzevanhu vanofarira maitiro ekuve nehupenyu hwerudo hwavanoshuvira.
Ndinoziva kuburikidza nemakore mazhinji ekushanda pamwe nevakaroora uye nevanhu vamwe vanhu kuti vanhu havana kudzidziswa kuve muhukama, uye izvo zvatinoda kubva kuhukama zvinowanzove zvakasiyana zvakanyanya nezvakange zvichidiwa kana kutarisirwa nevabereki vedu.
Hapana mumwe wedu anodzidziswa zvinotora kuchengetedza hukama hwakanaka uye kugara murudo. Muchikamu chega chega cheRudo Mepu, ndinotaura nevamwe varapi uye vanhu vari kunyatsoongorora nyika yehukama kupa muteereri nzwisiso uye maturusi emahara.
- Marriage.com: Zvinoenderana newe, chinangwa chekurapa HAKUSI KUGADZIRA matambudziko ASI KUGADZIRA. Unoita sei kuti uve nechokwadi cheizvozvo?
Jo: Kupedza matambudziko inzira yekufumura, nemutengi, maitiro avo akashata ekutaurirana, nhoroondo yavo nezvekuti matambudziko aripi, uye kupi uye nei matambudziko akamuka.
- Marriage.com: Mune ruzivo rwako rwemakore anopfuura makumi maviri nemashanu seRelationship Coach uye Psychotherapist, ndeapi matambudziko ehukama akajairika awakacherekedza ayo ari mugumisiro wezvepfungwa?
Jo: Kutya kunzwa kunetseka
Nyaya dzekuzviremekedza
Kutya kukakavara
Miganhu yakaipa
- Marriage.com: Chidimbu chakajairwa chezano icho munhu kana murume nemukadzi vanoda kutyora maitiro asina kunaka kuti hukama hubudirire, uye tinoverengawo nezvenzira dzekuzviita. Asi mumwe anoziva sei kuti maitiro akadaro aripo?
Jo: Nekucherechedza mashandisiro anoita vaviri kukakavadzana nekupesana; uye ndedzipi nzira dzekupona dzavanoshandisa kuzvidzivirira kubva pamanzwiro ekusagadzikana, semuenzaniso, vanodanidzira; sulk; bvisa; vhara.
Bvunza nezve manzwiro avo nezve hupenyu hwavo hwepabonde.
- Marriage.com: Ndezvipi zvinhu zvakakosha zvekukurukura musati maroorana kuti muise hwaro hwakakodzera hwehukama hunofadza?
Jo: Zvinorevei kuroora uye chii chavakadzidza vachikura nezve zvazvinoreva
Zvinorevei kuva nevana
Iko kukosha kwemhuri uye manzwiro akatenderedza yavo yega mhuri yekwavakabva
Kukosha kwekuchengetedza hukama uye kuti izvo zvinoita sei
Vanonzwa sei nezve murume mumwe chete
Vakasununguka uye vanotaurirana vanonzwa vakatenderedza hutano hwavo
- Marriage.com: Yakawanda sei basa iro yakapfuura yemunhu inotamba mukudyidzana kwavo newavakaroorana naye?
Jo: Basa rakakura: "Ndiratidze iwe kuti waidiwa sei, uye ini ndichakuratidza madiro aunoita."
Icho chigunwe chehucheche hwedu hwese munzira yatinoita nekupindura muhukama hwedu hwepedyo.
Maitiro ekubatanidza pakati pemwana uye muchengeti wekutanga anodzokororwa muhukama hwevakuru uye nesarudzo yedu yemudiwa.
Tichave, tisingazive, tichange tichitarisa kutevedzera nzira yataidikanwa muhudiki hwedu mukukura.
Pane ino odhiyo ongorora nePsychotherapist Penny Marr kuti zvakapfuura zvinokanganisa sei nzira yatinoda uye nemabatiro atingaite maitiro ekare asina kunaka.
- Marriage.com Iyi mamiriro ekuvhara ingangove yekupedzisira dhiri-rekutyora kune vazhinji vakaroorana? Pane zvakawanda zviri kuitika pamoyo; vakaroorana vanogona sei kurarama nazvo?
Jo: Ehe, kukiyiwa ndiko kwekupedzisira kugadzirisa-kwevamwe vakaroorana vangangodaro vakashandisa kuregedza senzira yekuchengetedza hukama uye vasingatarise kutya kwavo kwehukama nenyaya mukati mehukama, semuenzaniso, kuburikidza nekushanda maawa marefu, kufamba, kushamwaridzana.
Vakaroorana vanogona kurarama nekuronga uye chimiro. Mashedule anozivikanwa kutsigira kudzora kwenzira uye nekudaro, kunoderedza kunetseka.
Kutsvaga nzira dzekugadzira panyama miganho (nzvimbo yekushandira uye 'imba' nzvimbo) uye, kana zvichibvira, nguva yehukama kana izvo zvichinzwa zvisina kutyisidzira.
- Marriage.com: Isu tinoudzwa kuti hatifanire kuedza kushandura munhu watinoda uye zvakadaro vakaroora vanofanirwa kushanduka zvakanyanya kuti vawedzere kunzwisisa, kutaurirana, uye chii kwete! Hazvina kusetsa here? Ndedzipi pfungwa dzako pamusoro peizvi?
Jo: Kana isu tichida kuti hukama hushanduke, isu tinofanirwa kuzvibvunza isu kuti sei, nei, uyezve chii chandingaite?
Kuve unozviziva iwe, kutora mutoro wehunhu hwedu pachedu, maitiro, uye pakupedzisira zvido zvedu, inhanho yekuunza mudiwa wedu kunzvimbo kwavanoona kuri mukuzvifarira kwavo kushandura maitiro avo.
Kana mumwe wako achibuda kunze / akaziva mapatani asina kufanira ekutaurirana, anogona kuve nemhedzisiro inoshamisa pahukama.
Kana tikaratidza chinangwa chedu chekutora mutoro kuburikidza nekuzviziva uye nekunzwira tsitsi isu pachedu, ipapo mumwe wedu anogona kunzwa akachengeteka uye akafemerwa kuti achinjewo.
Mune ino podcast, dzidza kuti sei tisiri kuita bonde ratiri kuda uye kuti tingaite sei kuburikidza nekutaurirana kuri nani.
Wona ichi chinyorwa pa InstagramChikamu 4 - KUNYANYA KUNAKA, BONDE RAKANAKA. Muchikamu chino tiri kutaura neRelationship Therapist uye mubatsiri wemunyori we 'Bonde, Rudo uye Njodzi dzeKushamwaridzana' Helena Lovendal. Isu tinoongorora nei tisiri kuita bonde ratiri kuda uye kuti tingaite sei. Teerera kune epakutanga zvikamu zvishanu zveMwaka wekutanga uye nyorera kuti uvandudzwe kuburikidza neiyi link mune bio yedu.
Chinyorwa chakagovaniswa neRudo Mepu (@lovemapspodcast) pa
- Marriage.com: Ndechipi chiri chinetso chehukama chakaomesesa chawakafanirwa kubatsira vaviri kuparara kusvika zvino?
Jo: Co-kutsamira, uko kushungurudzwa kwepfungwa kunoshandiswa kudzora kutya.
- Marriage.com: Chii chinofanira kutarisirwa nevaviri uye vasingatarisiri zvachose kubva kumusangano wekupa mazano?
Jo: Vakaroorana vanofanira kutarisira:
- Kuteererwa
- Kuti unzwisise zvirinani kuti inyaya dzipi idzi
- Nzvimbo yakachengeteka
Vakaroorana havafanirwe kutarisira:
- Kugadziriswa
- Kutongwa
- Kusasarura
- Marriage.com: Ndedzipi pfungwa dzakajairika dzevakaroorana vane pfungwa yekuroora kunofadza?
Jo:
- Kuti muchato unofadza haudi tarisiro yenguva dzose, yakarongwa.
- Izvo zvepabonde zvinoitika nenzira
- Mwana iyeye achaunza vaviri vacho pamwechete
- Kwete kurwa chiratidzo chakanaka
- Marriage.com: Ndedzipi nzira dziri nyore dzekuve nemuchato unofadza kana kuchengetedza muchato?
Jo: Kuva nemuchato unofadza kana kuchengetedza imba
- Ronga nguva yehukama
- Ronga nguva yekuteererana
- Kubvuma / kukumbundira misiyano
- Kutora mutoro wemanzwiro edu uye maitiro
- Kuchenjera kutaura nekupindirana kune mumwe nenzira inoratidza chokwadi chekuti munhu wauri kutaura ndiye munhu waunoda kuve naye kwenguva yakareba.
- Kubata mumwe nemumwe neruremekedzo rwunochengeterwa vanhu vazhinji chete kune vakakosha vatengi / vanoshanda navo.
- Usati waita, tora mweya wechitatu, uye ipapo unogona kupindura kubva kune yakadzorwa, chikamu chevakuru chehuropi hwako.
Achirondedzera nzira dziri nyore uye dzinoshanda, Jo anoratidza kuti nei vanhu vakaroorana vachikundikana kugadzira muchato unofadza uye kuti vangawana sei rudo rwavanoda. Jo anoonesawo mamwe matipi anobatsira, anofadza emuchato ayo anogona kuratidza kubatsira kune chero munhu kana vaviri vari kuda nhungamiro.